He shook his head. Once King Rhun knew where she had been, what would happen? Would he be grateful to them for keeping his sister safe or blame them for her disappearance? Perhaps he was exaggerating the danger. It no longer mattered. Tormod had decided and now Arne would have to abide by that decision. But did he want to? For the past decade, his own guilt and anger meant he’d followed all of Tormod’s decisions without complaint—if anything, he had been the most supportive of his brothers, but now… Arne sighed again, and felt a genuine stirring of resentment. Tormod had agreed she should leave, but why should he have to lose the woman he…
He froze. Did he love her? Was love preventing him from seeing the situation clearly? Part of him wanted to go to her and beg her not to leave with the soldiers, while another part was sure it was the right thing to do and once she was gone life would settle back down. He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed at his forehead. Life never settled down. Life was never safe. Why was he trying so hard to make it so?
Was his own safety or the safety of Kirkjaster worth the cost of losing her? Could he risk the lives of others here?
He didn’t know what outcome he had expected or even hoped for. It seemed as if there was no possible solution. Especially when he was more than aware his own feelings on the matter had changed so much in the past few days. When he’d seen Gemma dressed in her Brythonic clothes, he’d been reminded who she really was – and that was not his lover. He’d realised she planned to leave him. And it had hurt far more than he’d expected.
Gemma was correct that Kirkjaster could be attacked whether she was living in the settlement or not. If either King Rhun or Marcant decided to attack, they would not care whether the Norsemen had protected her or not. What would her people think whenshe returned? Would Marcant’s supporters seek to recapture her? Would Rhun want her, or at least her son, dead? And then, a thought unbidden—what if she remained here? That could not happen. It was too big a risk, and he’d heard Caelin speak. The boy fully expected his birthright would be returned to him.
“Arne?” Elisedd’s voice at his side made him jump. Arne lifted his head to see him standing beside his foster brother. Einar stood, chewing on his lip, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor.
“Sit,” he said to them, then patted the seat beside him when Einar didn’t immediately do so. Elisedd had taken the seat opposite him and Arne waited as Einar followed hesitantly. Remembering Ulf’s words, Arne smiled at the boy. “Have you seen—” Suddenly he stopped, unable to bring himself to say ‘your brother and sister’. “The new babies?”
“Yes, they are so very tiny,” Elisedd said. “Mama says it will be a long time before they are grown enough to play with and that by then I will be too old to play.”
Arne laughed and turned to Einar, whose shoulders were hunched and whose head drooped.
“They make my father smile,” Einar said.
Arne felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. Unthinking, he reached for Einar’s hand and held it tight. Finally, the boy looked up at him and Arne saw the pain of yet another rejection in eyes so like his own.
“I must take Gemma and Caelin back to the king today, but when I return there is something I need to discuss with Tormod. Something that concerns you.”
Einar glanced at him, then looked down at their joined hands.
“It is a good thing,” Arne assured him, pleased when the boy met his gaze. “And I hope it will…” What did he hope? That it would make Einar happy? It might not. It might make everything worse, that he, Arne had allowed his own son to be so miserable thinking another man didn’t care about him. Tormod may not be able toforgive him for hiding the truth either. He might gain a son and lose his brothers, lose his own family. But it was time. Beyond time to confess and live with whatever happened. Perhaps he would do as Gemma had planned and see if there was a ship sailing for the north, for the land of Thule. Then maybe Ulf would do something about his feelings for Rhiannon.
“You hope it will…?” Einar prompted.
“I hope it will make you happy,” he said and clapped the boy on the shoulder. “Now go and help Rhiannon, both of you, and I will see you tomorrow. You will be sleeping even if I do return tonight.”
The boys hurried off, Einar looking much happier than when he had first approached.
“That is the first time I have seen him smile in a while,” Tormod noted as he came to sit in the seat Elisedd had just left.
“The birth of your children has not been easy for him, or so Ulf tells me. He was angry with me for not being here for him.”
“Then it is good you have returned. You are a far better father to him than I have ever been. Than I can ever be.”
“He is a fine boy, and none of this is Einar’s fault,” Arne said, searching Tormod’s face for any indication that his words held a deeper meaning, that somehow he knew. It would certainly save Arne the effort of telling him, but he knew if Tormod had worked out he was Einar’s real father, he wouldn’t be accepting any of the blame for the boy’s situation.
“Gemma and her son have become of interest to the Britons once more,” Tormod said. “And while we are not yet sure why, we should remain alert to the possibility that they will be used to disrupt the balance of power. Why did she leave?”
“After the fishermen arrived, she finally seemed to realise what a risk her presence was to Kirkjaster.”
Tormod eyed him. “But we had discussed this, Arne, and you knew I did not agree with you.”
“Rhiannon…” He stopped. Yes, Gemma had told him Rhiannon’s comments had been partly responsible, but he knew where the true blame lay. “Rhiannon had expressed her fears to Gemma the night before she left, but I think it was my behaviour that was the real reason for her taking Caelin and heading north.”
“Even though it placed their lives in danger?”
“She believed she would reach Tairmbert before nightfall.”
“I see.” Tormod frowned. “So, she was heading north, away from her brother, but is now resolved to return to him?”
“I think she discovered the difficulties associated with heading north and now considers the best hope for their future is for Caelin to try to reclaim his lands.”
“This is quite a change, however, I believe the boy deserves to have his lands restored.”
