“I didn’t leave because the settlement was to be attacked. Rhiannon…” She stopped, still distressed that even another Briton resented her.
“Rhiannon told me what she said to you.”
“She did?”
“She was upset, felt she had pushed you away.”
Gemma smiled sadly. “In a way she did, but she was right and I do not want to have to feel guilty about anything happening at Kirkjaster. And when she told me about the reward… I didn’t know who I could trust anymore.”
“It is hard for me to trust you.”
“I understand.” She stood watching the flames and basking in the heat of the fire. Finally she felt warm again, although it would be a long time before she forgot the bone deep cold she’d experienced on her walk here. “But it is no easier for me to trust you.”
“I understand,” he said quietly.
“So, why did Tormod come here in the end? Why not stay in the Norselands? Did he always plan to set up a settlement in Strath Clut?”
“Coming here offered the prospect of more adventure, more excitement. Not to mention a fresh start for an ambitious man to create his own jarldom. After the siege, Tormod chose to come to Strath Clut. It seemed an opportune moment. Perhaps one day Kirkjaster will be as strong as the settlements we have in the islands. We planned to stay in the islands originally, but then, after the siege, Tormod saw the potential for something new. And being an ambitious man, he decided to try for the unknown.”
Gemma watched Arne’s lips curve into a smile. He was proud of his cousin. She could see that. “But all this happened long before?”
“Yes, years ago. It is not worth remembering now.”
“Then why does it control your life so much? It seems Tormod has let it go.”
“Only since he met Aoife. She has enabled him to trust again. I’m not sure I can ever do that.”
“It takes courage to trust.”
He drew in a sharp breath, and she froze. What was she doing pushing him like this?
“Are you calling me a coward?”
She looked at him, expecting to see pent up rage, but instead he tipped his head back and pinched his nose.
“Perhaps you are right.”
“I… I would never say you were a coward. After all, you followed me here, thinking I might meet with others. Others who might kill you.”
He didn’t reply.
“What is it you want from me, Arne?”
He still did not respond, his gaze fixing on the fire. He stared into its depths.
Deciding she would get nothing more out of him, she made her way back to the bed and climbed in carefully so as not to wake Caelin. He was wrapped snugly in his own blanket, and she wrapped her own around her tightly as she lay down. She closed her eyes and was just drifting off to sleep when he spoke again.
“I don’t know anymore. Maybe I didn’t want your deaths on my conscience.”
“Mine? Or my son’s?”
“Both. Either.”
“I thought you saw me as a threat.”
“As a danger, certainly.”
“It is not my fault.”
