I laughed. Despite everything, I actually laughed.
“I love you,” I said instead of goodbye.
“I know. I love you, too. Stay safe, Kate.” He kissed my cheek, and then he was gone. And for a moment it was just me, alone in a house full of people.
21
ALLIE
Jared’s chest was cool against my cheek, and I snuggled closer. We’d been lying like this for almost an hour, tangled together on my bed with the late afternoon light filtering through the curtains. His shirt was somewhere on the floor. I was down to my bra and leggings, which was as far as we ever went—not because I didn’t want more, but because every time things started heading in that direction, one of us would pull back. Him, usually. Something about wanting to do this right.
It was simultaneously the most romantic and most frustrating thing anyone had ever done for me.
“It’s right below us,” I said, breaking the comfortable silence. “The portal. Like, down there underneath us all the time.”
Jared’s hand stilled on my back. “I try not to think about it.”
“How can you not think about it? There’s a door to hell in our basement. A door that’s getting bigger. A door that my blood was supposed to close, except—” I pushed up on one elbow so I could see his face. “Why didn’t it work? My blood closed the gates before. Why is this different?”
“I don’t know.” His dark eyes were troubled. “Different gate, I guess. Maybe the ritual has to be done with a chant. Or the moon has to be full. There’s no way to guess.”
“Maybe I’m not enough.” The words came out smaller than I intended. “Maybe whatever Father Donnelly bred into me, whatever makes me special—it’s not the right kind of special for this.”
“Hey.” Jared sat up, pulling me with him so we were facing each other. “You are more than enough. We just don’t have all the pieces yet.”
“What if we run out of time before we find them?”
He didn’t answer. We both knew that was a real possibility.
I leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around me. “I keep thinking about what happens after,” I admitted. “If we survive this. If we close the portal and beat Samarek and everything goes back to normal—whatever normal even means anymore.”
“What about it?”
“Us. What happens to us.” I pulled back enough to look at him. “You’re immortal, Jared. Or close enough. And I’m going to get old and wrinkly and eventually die, and you’re just going to?—”
“Stop.” His voice was firm but gentle. “We’ve talked about this.”
“I know, but?—”
“I don’t care about forever. I care about now. I care about tomorrow. I care about as many days as we get, however many that turns out to be.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “The rest, we figure out as we go.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But the math never worked out in my head, no matter how many times I tried to make it add up.
The door burst open.
“Allie, I need to talk to you about—oh my God! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” Mindy stood frozen in the doorway, eyes wide, face already turning red. Her gaze ping-ponged between Jared’s bare chest and me in only my bra, and I could practically see her brain short-circuiting.
“Hey, Mom,” I said, making Mindy cringe even more.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t—I should have knocked. I’ll just—” She was already backing up, hands raised like she was surrendering.
“I really have to start locking that door,” I said.
Jared, because he was Jared, was already reaching for his shirt. “It’s fine. I can give you two some space.”
“No, no, it’s okay, I can come back, I’ll just—” Mindy was fumbling for the door handle without looking at it. “Text me! Or don’t! Whatever! Sorry!”
“Mindy.” I grabbed a tee from the floor and tugged it on. “Calm down. It’s fine. What’s going on?”
