And I’d seen him dead tired and scared, drained by visions, hollowed out by prophecies that ripped through him without warning or mercy. I’d seen him struggle to hold himself togetherwhen this world had met my old one, and nothing quite made sense for him anymore.
I’d seen all that and more. But I’d never seen him look like this. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” He tried to smile. It didn’t quite work. “Can we talk? Somewhere private?”
“Of course.”
He led me upstairs to the large training room—empty now. Late afternoon light slanted through the high windows, painting everything gold and amber. It should have felt warm. But something about the tone in Stuart’s voice made it feel like the light before a storm.
Stuart closed the door behind us, then pressed his forehead against it for a moment, his back to me, his shoulders rising and falling with a breath he seemed to be gathering from somewhere deep.
“Did you have a vision?”
He shook his head, then turned, and even though I’d looked into those eyes a million times, I couldn’t read a thing in them.
“I’m leaving,” he said.
The words didn’t make sense at first. They just hung there in the air, disconnected from anything real.
“Leaving? Why?”
He shook his head. “I got a call from Rome the day of Allie’s party. Do you remember?”
I nodded slowly, unsure where this conversation was going.
“It was Father Corletti. He suggested I come to Forza. Permanently. He wants me in Rome. To train with the oracles there, to learn how to control whatever this is that’s happening to me,” he said, pointing to his head.
“Oh.” I stood looking at him, hating myself for not being sure how I felt.
“I’m going. Actually, I’m going tonight.”
“Oh.” A wave of grief crashed over me. Grief mixed with pain and loss and the slight stain of failure.
I opened my mouth to say something, realized I didn’t know what, then closed it. I drew a breath and tried again. “And you’re just telling me now?”
“I needed time to figure out what to say.” He pushed off from the door and went to sit on a bench. “The visions aren’t going to stop, Kate. They’re exhausting. I need to learn how to deal with them.”
“Well, yes. I get that. But...” I trailed off, hating myself for not saying what should come afterbut.That I loved him—I did. That Timmy needed him—true. That I wanted him to stay.
That one... Well, that one was the kicker, wasn’t it?
I looked down at the floor. “I hate that this has happened to you.”
“I don’t,” he said, and I jerked my head up in surprise.
“Really?”
“I’ve been an outsider in your life for years, jealous that you and Allie were able to do something so fundamentally important.”
“Everything you’ve done—being an attorney, being a father, supporting the school, your visions. They’re all important.”
“Maybe. But that’s not the only reason.”
“Then what is? Because Timmy and I want to hear it.”
He flinched, but to his credit he didn’t falter. “Kate, please. You’ve seen what this has done to me. I can’t be the father I should to Timmy. And I’m not what you need, either. Not anymore. Maybe not ever.”
“That’s not true.”
