I laughed. “Are you afraid I’ll get tired of looking at you?”
“You better not.”
I snuggled up to him. “Won’t ever happen.”
He kissed the nape of my neck as he stretched out next to me, one arm draped over my waist. Familiar. Safe.
But even with him there—even with his presence wrapped around me—I couldn’t quiet my brain.
Mindy’s question kept circling back—Are you scared?
The honest answer was yes. But not just about Jared, or the future, or the impossibility of forever.
The truth was, I never used to think about dying. It just wasn’t something that crossed my mind. Sure, I knew it would happen eventually—everyone died—but it was abstract. Distant. A problem for Future Allie, the one who was old and gray and had lived a full life. The old Allie didn’t waste time worrying about it.
Now I thought about it all the time.
Every training session, every demon we faced,I wondered if this was it. If today was the day my luck ran out. If all the powerin my blood, all the training, all the fighting, would add up to nothing in the end.
Jared’s arm tightened around me, as if he could sense my thoughts spiraling. Maybe he could. He always seemed to know.
Tomorrow there would be training. Classes. More investigation into Antonio’s murder. Tomorrow I’d have to be strong and capable and whatever else people needed me to be.
But tonight, in the dark, with Jared’s arms around me, I let myself be scared. Just for a little while.
9
KATE
The new kids had been with us three days now. Long enough to learn which hallways creaked, where our cook, Signora Micari, hid the good snacks, and that Marcus’slight warmupmeant two hours of conditioning that left them barely able to walk.
And, most importantly, they’d learned how to handle a stiletto without injuring themselves or other nearby humans.
And, since I’d spotted an interesting notice in the morning paper, I dropped the bomb at breakfast. “Tonight, we’re going on a field trip.”
Sophie’s fork froze halfway to her mouth. Trevor’s eyes flicked up from his plate, the first sign of actual interest I’d seen from him. Zane just smiled, easy and curious, like I’d announced we were getting ice cream.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Mindy watching him. That made a total of three times I’d noticed. I’d also noticed that, so far, he wasn’t looking back. Frankly, I was fine with that. I was already stressed by my daughter dating Jared. I didn’t need to be stressed about Mindy’s dating life, too.
I caught Laura’s eye and saw that she’d clocked Mindy’s interest, too. She gave me a half-hearted shrug, and I almost laughed. There comes a point when a mom just has to back off. I want to say that I knew that and respected that, but honestly? I was still getting used to the whole growing-up thing.
Fortunately, I liked and trusted Jared. Unfortunately, he had a couple of lifetimes on my kid.
“A field trip?” Sophie’s nervous squeak pulled me back to the moment. “Um, you’re not talking about a museum, are you?”
“Actually,” Allie put in, “there was this one time at the Danvers Museum, and this demon-loving creep named Cool, and—oh,” she said, apparently catching my eye.
“Sorry, Mom.” She grimaced as she looked at the others. “Later.”
We’re actually going hunting?” Zane said. “Wow.”
Trevor nodded. “Yeah, that’ll be cool,” he said, in one of his rare statements not prompted by a direct question. “I mean, so long as we don’t end up dead.”
“That is the plan,” I assured them, as Sophie made a squeaking noise. “And you have to get out there sometime. You’re here to be Demon Hunters, after all. And the best way to learn is by doing.” I passed the breadbasket to Marcus. “Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of backup.”
“It’s actually pretty awesome,” Ana said, leaning forward with the enthusiasm of someone who’d survived her first hunt and couldn’t wait to do it again. “Scary as hell the first time, but awesome.”
“She’s not wrong,” Ren added. “Remember that alley demon?”
