She swallowed, then wiped her eyes before looking straight at me again. “Eliza was right, you know.”
“Eliza?”
“That knife that I threw—the one that hit the demon right in the eye. I’m not that good. Or, at least, I wasn’t. I wasn’t before we went to Rome. I wasn’t until we were in the crypt. But there was something about that chamber…”
“What?” I asked, though I already knew. I’d seen the way she’d run and leaped and battled her way to the dais.
“I don’t know how, but even before I got to the dais and closed the gate there was something about that room. We went in there, and I felt something inside me change. I thought it would be the same for you and Daddy.”
“Not me,” I said. And as for Eric … well, I really didn’t know.
“Here’s the thing,” she continued. “What if that was the whole point? What if the demons always knew that we’d be able to close that gate? What if it was like some really long con to get me down there? To make all this stuff happen inside me so that some demon buried deep inside me comes out? What if I was never the result of a plan by good people wanting to fight demons, but of bad people wanting to make me be some sort of weapon for their side?”
With ever word, my mouth went dry and my heart beat faster. I forced myself not to let my fear show as I shook my head hard, her hands gripped tight in mine. “No,” I said firmly. “No.”
“But—”
I shook my head again. “No. You are you. You’re good, Allie. You always have been. Nothing in you has changed. Whatever you are now, you always have been.”
“But what if I’ve always been dark?”
“Do you want to be dark?”
She shook her head so forcefully the bed moved. “Well, then. That’s your answer. If we have to fight something in you, we will. But we’ll deal. I promise. Because you’re Allie. You’re sweet and you’re smart and you’re snarky and you’re badass, and you’re a pain in my butt sometimes, but you’re a good kid and I love you.”
A single tear streaked down her cheek as she nodded then ran the back of her hand underneath her nose. “It almost got Daddy. We almost lost him.”
“But we didn’t.”
“Because of you,” she said.
I thought of that horrible moment when I’d watched a blade slide deep into the eye of a man I loved. I’d expected him to die that day. But he hadn’t, and that had been one of the biggest miracles of my life. But I can’t guarantee that will ever happen again. Could I ever do the same with Allie? Let someone do it to her?
I didn’t know, but the truth was, I didn’t think so. And surely, whatever demons lived in the ether around us, knew that too.
Time moved differently in those in other dimensions. I’d been told that, but never had proof. Now, though, I did, because Eric had told me. He’d been in one of those dimensions, after all, and to him returning to me had seemed almost instantaneous.
Which means that a long con for a demon, would not be very long at all.
But none of that was the kind of thing I was willing to tell Allie. Not yet. Instead, I’d carry her worries as my own burden for a while. And somehow, I would try to fix this.
“We all have your back, sweetheart,” I finally said.
“I know you do. But...”
“What?” I pressed when she trailed off with a shrug.
“I guess I’m afraid that it won’t even matter. Because someday, I’m going to have to do what you do all on my own.”
I saw the fear in her eyes when she looked directly at me. “And Mom, I’m really scared that in the end, we’re all going to lose.”
CHAPTER 11
“Ah, Katherine,” Father Corletti said. “Of course, you are worried.” I’d called him from Stuart’s office after leaving Allie’s bedroom. It was morning in Rome, and I’d been lucky to catch him. The moment the line had connected, my tears had spilled out with as much force as my worries.
I laid it all out, giving him the details of the demonic encounters since we’d returned to San Diablo. He’d listened as he always did, and it had been a relief to share my worries with him, to let him carry some of that horrible weight for me.
I couldn’t remember a moment when Father Corletti wasn’t there for me. When I was a little girl, I would sit on the edge of my bunk and he would come in and speak with me at night. I would tell him about the adventures of the day, the excitement and the terror. Most of the time he would sit quietly and simply listen, and even without a conversation, it made me feel better to know I had both his ear and his heart.
