I barely manage to say, “Love you too,” before he hangs up. Is that odd? Everyone keeps talking about pre-wedding jitters.Is he getting cold feet? Or, like me, is he worried something, or someone, will come along and ruin our happy ever after?
If it were something important, he would tell me. We’ve been through too much to keep any more secrets.
Right?
“Summer’s gone to get Rochelle.” Dizzy steps up next to me.
“Yes.” I wrap my hand around my throat. This constant pit in my stomach is normal, according to Dr. Keller. It’s going to take time for me to trust the world around me and my own instincts. “Can I ask you something?”
“I’m your sister.” She bumps her shoulder against mine as she slips her arm around my waist and leans her head on my shoulder. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. What I’m about to ask is wrong. She’s hyper, cheerful, dramatic Dizzy. She’s not a murderer. She cut through a man’s throat on purpose but it was self-defense. “Do you ever regret killing Jackson?”
“He was going to kill you.”
I take a deep breath. “Do you regret listening to me when I asked you not to kill Alec?”
She tilts her head to look at me. “Do you regret telling me not to kill him?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” All I know is that when I wake up in the middle of the night with a scream clawing at my throat, I pray Alec is dead. “Sometimes I think it would be easier if he was dead. If we knew that he wasn’t going to come after us again.”
“I wish I could tell you I took care of it,” Dizzy says. “But I can’t.”
Of course she can’t. Jackson was an act of self-defense. If she’d killed Alec, that would be murder.
“Everything that happened, everything we said was born from the situation.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder as we walk back toward the tent where Adira and Kelsey are waitingfor us. “Killing Jackson... keeping me safe... you’ve already done so much for me. More than anyone should have to for another person. I’m sorry that you have to carry that burden.”
“I would do it all over again. Trust me, if anyone tries to hurt you, they’ll have to come through me.” She makes a stabbing motion in the air. “And I know where all the major arteries are.”
It’s this crazy, silly, effervescent spin she puts on things that makes me feel better. The fear lessens as I catch the giggles. “Thank you. That helps.”
Outside the tent, Dizzy takes both my hands. Her gaze is shiny, bright, and full of emotion. “You’re my sister. I would do anything for you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dizzy.” I really do. I wish we’d had each other growing up, the way we were supposed to before the Hawthornes ruined our lives. I hug her. “Thank you for making me feel better.”
“You’re welcome.” She beams at me. “Now, are you ready to go back inside and get ready for tonight?”
28
Summer
Iguide the rental car past the sign welcoming visitors to Devil’s Bend. The trip from the ranch into town is still as familiar to me as breathing. I could have made the twenty-minute drive with my eyes shut.
The center of town is one long street with a dozen shops lining it. There’s a pub, market, and a feed store on the right. On the left a bakery, hair stylist, and post office.
The violet awning and signage of Violet’s flower shop stand out against the older, faded fronts.Violet’s Flowers.Buckets of pretty flowers fill a couple of carts out front as Violet carries an armful of red and white roses from the van into the shop.
Which one of these Devil’s Bend assholes gave her that swollen cheek?
She drops her head and lets her hair swing forward, as though she can feel me watching her as I drive past.
How dark is the bruising under all that make up?
The diner on the corner is still exactly the same. Off Main Street there’s a police station and a doctor’s office. A few more blocks over there’s a car dealership and attached mechanic’s garage.
In the other direction is the high school, complete with a football field where the town gathers every Friday night in the fall.
I grip the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles whiten as I pass a couple women in their fifties having a conversation outside the feed store.
