Wednesday, July 21
I spend the rest of the afternoon helping Ross and Mel remove wet bedding from the stalls and replace it with night-time hay. They work silently beside me, seeming to sense my preoccupation, my need to spend time in my head.
As I work, Kane’s words keep coming back to haunt me.You mean a lot to me. I’m going to let you go. There’s no rosy future for us.
How can he so quickly dismiss any possibility of us having a future together? Yes, we have a few obstacles to overcome. There’s possible kidnapping charges against Kane, our conflicting lifestyle choices, his hatred of my father. But we can work them out. I’m under no illusion it will be easy, but it’s doable. Yes, it will cost me, but the alternative—walking away and letting him go—feels unbearable.
For the first time in a long while, I’m excited about the future. Whatever is blossoming between Kane and me feels real and precious, and I’m determined to fight for the hope that our attraction can grow into something deeper. We need to work together to figure things out. That’s what couples do. They talk, they compromise, they make sacrifices.
What sacrifices can I make? For starters, I won’t press charges against Kane and I won’t testify against him in court.
Could I give up eating meat? I pluck bits of hay from my clothes and think hard about that one. Since interacting with Carrot-top and Nugget, I’ve come to realize that animals are creatures of unique personalities. They have emotions. Yes, I could possibly considerbecoming a vegetarian.
Of course, there’s no way I can give up my father, but any thought of a life without Kane is equally unimaginable. My father and Kane will have to find a way to be together without tearing each other—and me—apart.
#
It’s five o’clock and everyone is preparing for feeding time. I’m alone in the kitchen chopping up watermelon into bite-sized chunks. The others are outside filling buckets with grain, mixing dog food in a trough, and hiding medication in food for the animals who need it.
Lost in my thoughts, I dump the watermelon into a bowl. A noise has me looking up, my heart beating faster.
Nolene stands on the opposite side of the kitchen island. She’s wearing a cream shirt, cargo pants, and the Zorro mask. Without a word, her eyes flick to the cap on my head, the one Kane loaned me yesterday. Her eyes flare with emotion, but it’s quickly masked.
“I need your help taking grain to the horses,” she says sharply,
My skin prickles with apprehension. Why is Nolene asking formyhelp? “Mel needs me to finish cutting up the fruit.”
“You can finish it later.”
Her voice holds a strange tension. I can’t shrug off a sense of unease. Something isn’t right here. “Where’s Kane?”
“Does it matter?” Nolene counters. “You’re forgetting your place here.”
We lock eyes.
“I think I’ll stay here and wait for Kane,” I say finally.
Nolene pulls out a gun and points it at me. “No, you won’t.”
At the sight of the gun, I freeze. As a child, I always feared the monster under the bed or lurking in a dark closet. How could I predict that when the monster finally came for me it would take place in a farmhouse kitchen with the sun streaming through the windows?
“Let’s go,” Nolene orders with a jerk of her head.
“Go where?” I ask, desperately stalling.
“A field trip.”
Field trip? People get buried in fields.
Struggling for a measure of calm, I look at the knife in my hand.
Nolene shakes her head in warning. “It’ll be so easy for me to pull the trigger. I’ve wanted to for days now. All you have to do is give me an excuse.”
I put down the knife and walk around the kitchen island.
“Out the front door,” she directs, gesturing for me to walk ahead of her.
As I head slowly in that direction, I realize Nolene has deliberately chosen a time when everyone is busy and distracted, when it will be awhile before someone notices our absence.
