“A mission can change,” I tell him in desperation. “People can change.”
“Not this time.”
“I don’t care what you say, I’m going.”
Before I can move, Justin grabs my wrist, jerking me up against his damp shirt. “I warned you before I fight dirty. Restraining you physically won’t be a problem.”
“Let me go!”
“Not happening.”
I try to jerk free, but he doesn’t loosen his hold.
“What about the rest of the evening?” I challenge. “The beagles are going to be killed tomorrow morning. Will you watch me the whole night?”
“Yes,” he says simply.
Standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, I feel my face crumbling. He’ll do it. He’ll stand vigil outside my house until morning to make sure I don’t sneak back here and rescue Turbo. My shoulders slump.
“Okay, you win,” I admit, my voice breaking. “I won’t rescue him, but I have to say goodbye.”
He tightens his grip on me. That’s when I realize I’m trembling. “Goodbyes won’t do you or him any good,” he tells me hoarsely. “It’ll be harder walking in there and having to walk out without him.”
It takes me all of two seconds to realize he’s not going to let me go to Turbo. Not even to say goodbye.
“Justin, I have to see him, I have to give Turbo one last hug before...before they...” I can’t finish. I’m holding on by the flimsiest thread.
“I’m sorry, TT. If you go in to say goodbye, you’ll take him. You’ll want to take all of them. I can’t risk you landing up in jail. That would destroy me.”
“You can’t do this!” In my pain and anger, I lash out at him, calling him all kinds of names. He stands there and takes it. I try desperately to get away from him, but with grim determination he resists all my efforts to free myself, taking without complaint the blows I rain on him.
It’s only when I catch a glimpse of his rain-soaked face that the fight goes out of me. Justin’s eyes are bloodshot, his jaw tight, neck corded with strain. The weight of his decision has carved bleak furrows in his forehead.
It hits me then that this is hurting him as much as it is me.
I stop struggling. Deep in my gut, as much as I hate to admit it, I know he’s right.
Justin watches me warily, his fingers still encircling my wrist.
“I won’t go to Turbo,” I tell him, feeling so drained I can barely get the words out. “I won’t fight you on this. You have my word.”
He lets me go, and I push my wet hair out of my face.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, his voice raw with pain, his expression helpless. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are.” I release a shaky breath. “I’m not returning to SolomiChem. I can’t.”
He looks at me, saying nothing.
“We have the necropsy video. And I have my notes, as well as pictures of the beagles. That has to be enough.”
“I understand,” he says softly. “I’ll talk to Kane.”
My chest is tight. “I have to go. I need my family around me. They can’t take my pain away, but they can help me carry it. I just don’t have the strength to bear this alone.”
He frowns. “What am I, invisible?”
My eyes lock with his. “You’re the guy who says he doesn’t want or need anyone. I’m finally giving you what you want.”
