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Tuesday, July 20
I wake up at dawn and try to slip back into sleep, but my brain is too wired, reliving what happened yesterday between Kane and me. He no doubt expects me to hide in my room and play the victim.
Forget that.
After I pull on shorts and a T-shirt, I trek to the bathroom to complete my morning ablutions. When I finish, I head down the hallway, hearing the low murmur of voices coming from the kitchen. Kane’s deep voice is easy to recognize.
I haven’t seen him since the kiss.The kiss. I can acknowledge it now. Kane kissed me, and I kissed him back. There was no coercion. I had the whole of last night to wallow in self-recrimination and a curious longing to be kissed again.
It was an...incredible kiss. In that jubilant pinch of time, before Kane pushed me away, before his face filled with self-loathing, no barriers existed between us. Kane wasn’t my kidnapper. I wasn’t his hostage. My father didn’t loom between us. In Kane’s arms, there was only the devastating sensation that this was where I belonged.
The moment I enter the kitchen, the conversation stops and everyone turns to look at me. Everyone but Kane.
Mel recovers first, sliding a glass of smoothie across the island counter toward me. “Sleep well?”
“I did, actually.” Thanking Mel, I take a sip of what tastes like a blueberry smoothie with a hint of coconut.
Breakfast is strained. Kane and I spend the entire time avoiding each other’s eyes, while Ross and Mel can’t stop their gazesping-ponging between us, Ross with a concerned frown on his face and Mel with an interested gleam in her eyes.
I can feel the smoothie curdling in my stomach. All of this is hard enough without the presence of avid spectators.
Kane seems to think so too, because without warning he pushes to his feet and announces, “Amy’s with me this morning.”
Ross’s brow creases. “I thought she was helping me inventory supplies.”
“Not anymore.”
Mel places a hand on Ross’s arm. “It’s okay.”
Kane finally makes eye contact with me. The intensity of his gaze brings a flutter to my insides. “You ready?”
I nod and follow him outside as he heads in the direction of the paddocks, the beauty of the cloudless sky stealing my breath.
Kane clears his throat. “I want to apologize again for yesterday.”
I replay the words he flung at me like knives.I look at you, at your life, and I can’t stand you. I dig my nails into my palms. “Do you always kiss people you can’t stand?”
“I was wrong,” he admits. “What I did. What I said. It was wrong. All of it.”
“Is it true?” I can’t help asking.
“Is what true?”
“What you said, that you hate me.”
He takes in a breath, lets it go. “Not anymore.”
His admission hangs in the air. I don’t know what to do with it. Neither, it seems, does he.
The safest course, I decide, is to step away. I gesture to the paddocks. “What’s on your list of chores for today?”
The flicker of a smile crosses his lips. “I’d like your help spraying the animals with fly repellent.”
“All right.”
He raises an eyebrow. “No argument?”
