“What if it’s…” She shuddered again.Her ribs stood out starkly under thin silk.
“Hecan’t touch you, Liv.You’re a Dreamer, you’re immune.It’s all right.”
“You hear him all the time.”She quieted, but the trembling didn’t stop.“How do you fuckingstandit?”
“Stubbornness, I suppose.”Erik glanced up.Dakshi had turned from the window, regarding the bed with bright interest.Robert’s sword vanished as he stepped inside, sweeping the door half-closed.It was standard procedure, but Erik wished they were both gone.
Oh, he could certainly do what they wanted.The persistent whispers, the lurking danger would cease and he could settle into his work, a new lodestar glimmering on his horizon.She’d be safer.
And yet, he was even more selfish.He could dress it up like conscience or honor, but truth be told, he longed for her to agree because shewantedto.As if he were somehow special, as if he had somehow earned as much.
He was risking aliraifor some stupid, silly schoolboy idea.
“I’m all right.”She pushed at his chest, and he could have kept her.
He could have done a lot more.But Erik slid aside, set his boots on the floor, and stood.He tucked her in, but when he would have drawn the bed’s curtains, she shook her head.“It’s too dark that way.You guys can go.Except…”
He waited.
“Erik can stay.If you want.”She huddled against snowy pillows, her dark hair a soft cloud.
Dakshi nodded, shot Erik a triumphant glance, and retreated.Robert didn’t linger, just shook his grey head and closed the door with a mannerly click.
Erik stood, head down, at the bedside.His eyes closed, and despite the presence of aliraithe god whispers were easily imaginable.Sibilants took on a sharper edge, singing of putting his hands around a slim throat andsqueezing, and the welcome granted him by the Mad God’s servants once he accomplished such a task.
I can give you much, the whispers always said.You know I can.
Sons owned nothing but their knives.Everything else was a gift from thelirai, and the interest on that debt mounted daily.To those who pleased him a mad god could grant luxury, power, conquest.
He could give them the world.
“It’s not like I haven’t noticed,” Liv said, finally.She swallowed, an audible drythroat click.“Jake told me about it, and Daniel, too.I know what you want.”
Do you?If I told you, it might be a surprise.“It’s not that, Liv.It’s whatyouwant that matters.”
“Daniel said they’ve been losing unsealedlirai.”One of her arms slid from under the covers.He heard her fingers brush across Egyptian cotton, tiptoe across heavy velvet.“For a long time.And I was dreaming about my mother.I think one of the monsters got her, Erik.”
She needed sleep, not old traumas reopened.Erik settled himself a little more comfortably.“You should get some rest.”
“What if they’re right?I mean, I’d rather it was you than a… a stranger.”
“They won’t without your consent.”Stubbornly, to make her understand.“I won’t let them.You’ve already had enough trouble, Liv.”It was for your protection, and I’m not sorry.But I’m not going to add to it.
Not until I have to.
“But it’ll stop the whispers.”Her hand lay, outstretched and cupped.Was she hoping he’d reach for it?“For you.”
“Yes.”No point in lying.“That it would.”
“Do you not like me?”She sounded wistful, now.
“That’s not the problem.”
“What is, then?”Just like alirai, asking a question that sliced to the bone.The Fathers were ruthless, but the Dreamers were gentle.
Which only made the cut that much deeper.
I want to believe I’d have a shot if I wasn’t just the best of a bunch of bad options.There it was, silly and selfish and stupid.Not to mention he could pretend to have a clean conscience, despite the god’s tempting, taunting teasing inside his skull.“Maybe I like you too much, beautiful.”
