"I should have more control over it."
"Why?"
He doesn't answer immediately.
"I have reasons," he says.
"I know." I pick up my jacket. "You can tell me when you're ready."
I head for the door.
"Alex."
I stop.
"I'm looking for someone." From across the room. Flat. Like a decision already made.
I turn halfway. He's by the table, hands at his sides.
"Okay," I say.
I don't ask who. I don't have anything left for the answer tonight.
I go.
***
Back in my room I press my back against the door after it closes and stay there for a moment.
The third arc is warm and steady and pointing — it does this when he's in the building, which is always, which means I've been navigating a compass that only has one direction since the moment I woke up this morning. Days of this. Days of the bond running loud every time he rounds a corner and the managed distance and the notepad and the pen that stops moving when the questions get too close.
He's looking for someone.
I lie down on the bed. The ceiling is the same as it always is.
The third arc pulses once, faint. He's somewhere in the building doing whatever he does in the building at night. Being still. Taking notes. Looking for someone who isn't me.
I don't know yet what to do with that.
Chapter five
Leo finds me after breakfast.
"Reyes has the RJ wing this morning and she takes her coffee at nine forty-five like clockwork. South fence, east yard. You've got about twenty minutes."
I look at him.
"I'm going to go be very loud and interesting in the common room," he says, "starting now."
"Leo—"
But he's already walking away, hands in his pockets, whistling something designed to be annoying.
I stand in the corridor for a moment.
Then I go.
***
