She shouldn’t be out here walking around and dealing with assholes like Ronan chasing her through campus. What was he going to do if she did turn around and talk to him, anyway? She needs sleep, and I don’t know how to help her with that.
The protective instinct that’s already been clawing at my ribs all morning feels a lot like anger.
Someone should be taking care of her. The thought hits me so suddenly it almost makes me laugh. Because the truth is, there isn’t anyone. She has no family, which means if anyone is going to take care of Livingston, it’s going to be me.
I straighten my jacket and start following her. My girl is going to get a good night’s sleep tonight no matter what I have to do.
I glance down at the top of my hands and roll my eyes. I should probably stop at my place and scrub Ronan’s blood off my knuckles before I make any offers to keep her company while she sleeps.
BASH
My hands are clean, and my room is dim except for the glow of my monitors. Just the way I like it. Right now I have about a dozen squares showing me every inch of my girls’ dorm room. I’m glad she’s alone right now because I don’t need someone else ruining my view of the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Every feed I’ve tapped into is stitched together so tightly that I never have to go more than a breath without her unless she’s in the bathroom.
Or leaves campus.
I frown at the thought of it because I can already tell that today is one of those days. I love following Livingston, being close to her without her realizing I’m there, but whenever she leaves campus things feel off-kilter. I hate feeling out of my element, like I can’t protect her in the same way that I can when I have a clear view of her at all times. Being a stalker who’s in love with his target isn’t for the weak.
Livy is supposed to be in class, but instead I’m watching her move so delicately around her room. I’m wondering if she’s skipped class because she’s clearly not feeling well. Is it because of whatever happened between her and the little twerp I beat up? Her hair cascades down her back, but she has a few piecestied back with a St. Killian pale green bow. She hates when the wispy pieces fall in her eyes, but when that happens, it makes my fingers twitch, yearning to brush them away from her face. Such a pretty face. Green eyes framed with long lashes and pouty lips that make my dick twitch at just the thought of kissing them. Her school-issued navy sweater slips off one shoulder, and I’ve noticed that unlike the other students at this university, she wears her uniform even when she leaves campus.
I’d buy her a whole closet full of anything she wants, but I suspect that she does it to blend in, and that’s somehow more heartbreaking.
My pulse jumps when she leans on her vanity, her plaid skirt lifting slightly on the back of her upper thighs. She’s checking her reflection, but something seems off about her expression. She looks exhausted, which doesn’t surprise me. She tossed and turned all night, and I endured every second of it with her. I watched her the entire time, and I almost ruined everything several times by kicking her door in to comfort her. My wants and needs are nothing compared to keeping her safe, and that’s the only thing that keeps me from locking us both in that room until I can convince her how fucking special she is and always has been to me.
I’m like a broken record in my own mind, but every feeling, every thought I have is for her. She doesn’t remember me, and maybe that’s mercy. If she did, she’d see what I’ve become since she knew me. One day, and I hope it’s soon, she will see firsthand what I’m capable of in the name of protecting her.
Livingston grabs her backpack, but she hesitates at the door. For a second, she just stands there, staring at nothing. I lean closer to the screen, a ridiculous instinct, like I could step through into her room and tell her not to go. I both hate and love the way my heart races when I know she’s going to be further away from me than I’d like. It makes me feel alive, gives me agoal to get as close to her as I possibly can, but I also know one of these days I’m going to snap.
I need to feel her against me. I need to hold her in my arms. I need her to remember.
When she finally leaves, I switch feeds, following her across the walkways of St. Killian. I know every camera angle by heart, every glitch that flickers through the frame. Wind blows her hair across her cheek, and I smile when she swats it away. She really fucking hates that, and if I was there with her, I’d make sure I caught it before the breeze was even able to blow in her direction. I pay that much attention to my girl, and I know sometimes she feels it. She looks around like she feels my eyes on her, and that is enough to do me in.
When she passes the last gate on campus and takes a right, I know exactly where she’s going. She doesn’t go there often by herself, but sometimes when she’s feeling under the weather she goes to The Red Boot Pub. She always gets tea, and she asks them to make it as hot as possible. I want to know who she learned it from? One of the families she was placed with when she was in witness protection? A friend? I frown at the ten years I missed with her, the memories we could have made. Surprisingly, the pub is the only establishment I haven’t been able to hack, and that annoys me. She’s about to be out of range, and more importantly, out of my sight.
I fucking hate that.
Before I even think about it, I’m on my feet. My chair skids back, colliding with the wall. I snatch my keys, glance once more at the monitors. I need to convince her to let me help her sleep. I don’t know exactly what she needs, but I do know that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to ease the ache she’s feeling.
As I step outside, the wind is sharp enough to sting my face, and suddenly I’m mad that my girl is walking around in this kind of weather. It’s gotten worse since my meeting with Riven.St. Killian always smells like wet grass, and I don’t exactly hate it. I don’t make it past two buildings before Jeremy and Kalen appear, both headed the same direction I am. I swear they’re still the only two guys I actually fuck with on this campus.
“Where are you two headed?” I ask mostly so they don’t ask me what I’m doing. They wouldn’t care if I told them my plans, but I’m very protective of what I have with Livingston. Kalen and Jeremy are not into dealing with people either, and I think that’s why we get along.
Kalen rolls his eyes and takes in a deep breath, but doesn’t make a move to answer my question. I don’t need any other information to know it has something to do with Juniper.
Jeremy grins like he wants nothing more than to piss off Kalen. “Juniper had the audacity to go to The Red Boot with her cheerleader friends,” he says, tone mock-offended. “She didn’t take Kalen’s credit card, so now we have to go down there and glower at her and pay for all of her stuff. Don’t worry, we won’t communicate like adults, we’ll just glare and hope she knows what that means.”
Kalen actually turns his head to glare at Jeremy, jaw tight. Jeremy just laughs, shoulders bouncing with the movement.
When I first met Kalen, I assumed she was his girlfriend, but then I found out that their parents got married when they were young. I don’t really talk to her, but she treats Livy well, and seems unbothered by the constant watch Kalen keeps on her. He pays for everything. Her nails, her hair, her clothes, and is offended if she doesn’t give him that option.
I can’t say shit. We’ve all got our quirks.
Jeremy’s St. Killian’s golden boy. He looks like he’d be charming, but when he’s not trying to irritate Kalen and me, he’s just exasperated by the attention he receives. Every girl on campus wants him, and he acts like it’s a personal insult. I’ve never seen someone so angry about being adored. He’s restlesstonight, keyed up, which means Kalen is definitely going to swing on him at some point before we get to the pub.
We cut through the courtyard and we’re catcalled by a group of girls sitting on the roof of one of the all-female dorms. They’re passing something that looks like a cigarette but smells sweeter between the three of them. Smoke drifts around them in lazy spirals, and I brace myself for Jeremy’s inevitable crash out.
“Jeremy Bennett!” one of them calls. “Come keep us warm!”
Jeremy flips them off without even looking up. “I’m going to kill us all. Burn the whole school to the ground,” he mutters, and Kalen and I both know he’s just running his mouth, so we laugh at his expense.
