“Sorry I brought that up. My foster mom says I always bring up the wrong things,” Kori says quietly, dragging the toe of her sneaker along the ground. “What about you? Are you here to read, or do you play hockey?”
“I coach it. And no, not really a fan of reading.”
“Hm. That’s sad. Books make you smart! And books…” She trails off, expression sobering while looking up at me. “Can I tell you… a secret?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Sometimes when I’m scared or if I feel lonely… I just read a book and pretend that I’mthereinstead.” She whispers the words, and fuck, they hit me directly in the chest. Like physical, painful blows that suck the air out of my lungs in the same way that it feels to take a hit on the ice, to have the breath knocked out of you. “I can go to all the happy places where I only smile and never cry like in real life. Where there’s puppies and unicorns and fairies and no monsters hiding in my closet! But I… I don’t want my new mom to find out because then she might want to get rid of me, so you have to keep it a secret, okay?” She reaches out, her small fingers curling around mine and squeezing tight. “Promise?”
I find myself crouching down to her level before I even fully think through what I’m doing. “Promise. Your secret’s safe with me. Can you promise me something though?”
Kori nods.
“No calling people dumbasses.” I grin, but it doesn’t relieve the tightness in my chest. If anything, it makes it worse, knowing that as badly as I want to tell this innocent little kid that it’s going to all be okay, that it gets better, that you forget all of the shit you go through when you live life like this, I can’t. BecauseI’m not going to lie to her. I’m still fighting every day of my fucking life.
Because even now, sometimes it feels hopeless, and I don’t know how to let go of it all. I don’t know if I ever will.
“I promise,” she says with a small smile, her dimples popping. “But that meansyoucan’t either. Fair is fair.”
I nod. “Kori?”
“Yeah?”
I swallow down the heaviness squeezing in my throat, forcing myself not to reach up and rub at the physical ache in my chest. “One day, when you’re old like me, happy places won’t just be in books. They’ll be real. And you won’t have to pretend anymore.”
I need her to believe the lie. Even if I don’t.
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
MAISIE
I’m still tryingto process whatever the hell happened with Wilder once he finally showed up to the rink today, but I’ve been busy trying to make sure that today went off without a hitch.
And it did.
Everyone had an amazing time, and the kids left with the biggest smiles on their faces, new books to read, and a budding relationship with the players, who I have no doubt they’ll be talking about for weeks to come. It was everything I could’ve hoped for and more.
Except for the infuriating man who’s driving me insane with how quickly his demeanor changes.
One second, he’s cold and detached; the next, he’s causing my blood to run hot with his words and touches.
So hot that it feels like I’m melting from the inside out.
And God, do I want him. Even when he’s driving me insane and making me question everything, including my mad attraction to him, I still have an ache that’s always there, steady and pulsing whenever I’m near him.
I push through the exit doors of the rink and out into the parking lot, tugging the strap of my backpack higher onto myshoulder as I make my way over to my car. Everyone else has already left, aside from me, and there’s only one other car in the lot. I stayed to make sure that I picked everything up and left the rink exactly how it was before the event.
Loud thunder rolls in the sky, lightning clapping brightly somewhere nearby, taking me by surprise and causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.
I pick up the pace toward my car and click the Unlock button just as I feel the first drops of rain hitting my face.
A random afternoon storm in late September is nothing out of the ordinary for southern Louisiana, but of course, my umbrella is somewhere in my car, and I didn’t think to check the forecast before coming today.
Because who would I be if I were a hundred percent prepared?
I hurriedly toss my bag and the banner into the trunk of my car as the rain starts to come down harder, pelting my skin almost angrily. The sky caved in just in the minutes it took me to walk across the parking lot.
