“Yes. I’m sorry, Len, don’t hate me. Obviously, I found out the day that I met with Coach Taylor at the rink about the literacy program partnership, but God, I was in literal shock when he introduced us and I turned around and it was him. Like the odds? Insane.”
Lennon threads her fingers with mine and squeezes. She doesn’t look upset with me, but I add, “He asked me not to tell anyone. And I was still going to tell you because obviously, wetell each other everything, but then I found out about his past that night at Jack’s, and I just… I realized how much he has at stake, and if anyone found out about that night, it could cause him to lose his job.”
“Yeah, that’s true.” She nods.
“Plus, he said it was a mistake and that it would never happen again. We said we were going to be strictly professional and forget it ever happened. It’s not like anything would’ve ever come from that night.”
My mind flits back to his office and the way that his knuckles felt ghosting across my thigh. How my core throbbed and ached as if it were recalling that night, a reaction I had absolutely no control over.
How desperately I wanted to touch him, to explore the hard planes of his muscled chest, to drag my tongue along the ink on his neck, but he had made it clear that whatever happened between us would never happen again.
Until he ultimately admitted how distracted he is by me.
How he’s fighting for control that he doesn’t have.
Laying his cards face up on the table in front of me.
At least… I think so. But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m conjuring up something that wasn’t there, and then I make an even bigger fool of myself for doing so?
“From the very first day when we both realized it, he said that it would never happen again. I thought he wasn’t into me because he found out I’m a student, and there’s this huge age gap between us, but that night after the hockey game, when he asked to see me in his office…” I trail off, raking my teeth over my lip and willing my stupid racing heart to calm when I think of him touching me. “We sort of got into a fight, but not really, because then all of a sudden, I was against his desk, and he was touching my thigh, but like barely touching it. Really just a brush of his fingers, but it was the hottest thing ever, and he was telling methat basically I’m this forbidden distraction that he can’t afford and that he’s only so strong.”
Once again, Lennon’s mouth falls open, and then her hand flies to her lips, covering a gasp.
“I know. And now I’m justsoconfused because I don’t know how to explain it, but I am so, so attracted to him, and honestly, all I want is a repeat of that night, but he said he wasn’t interested. Except he reallyisinto me, and God, Lennon, it’s just so much.”
I drop my head into my hands and let out an exasperated groan, one that I feel all the way to the shallow spot of my lower belly.
“Okay, so let me get this straight. Very quick CliffsNotes version.”
I lift my head to look at Lennon.
“The stranger who took your virginity is actually the new freaking hockey coach, and then when you both found out, he said it was a mistake and that it would never happen again, except he was lying to stop from fucking your brains out again because you’re a student and he’s old and he could lose his job.”
“Yup? I think. I mean, basically.”
She sighs, flopping back against the arm of the couch, spreading out like a starfish. “This is literally like a plot from your book, Mais.”
Okay, yeah, it really could be.
Something I have not so secretly always wished for. A love, a relationship… a fling,whatever,out of the romance books I read.
Passion, and fire, and burning desire. Yearning.
Cheesy, but still true. Obviously, only something that Lennon knows about me.
Lennon sits up abruptly, her brows pulled tightly. “This is a lot.” When I nod, she reaches for my hand. “How are you feeling about it? Are you okay?”
“Yes. I mean… no…” I trail off, sinking back into the couch behind me. “I’m just confused now. Before this, it was easy. We said it never happened, and it was surface-level professional. I mean, easier because I wanted him, and it was one-sided. But now what am I supposed to do?”
“Yeah, like now you know you’re the apple in the garden, and he’s Adam.”
I nod. “Like this chemistry, the attraction… now I know that it’s mutual. I think he feels the same way I do, if the other night was any indication, but it doesn’t really change the situation, right? And like, he keeps pushing me away, I think, because he believes it’s going to be easier, but clearly, it’s not.”
She’s quiet for a moment, and I swear I know her so well I can practicallyseethe thoughts as they zip through her big, beautiful brain.
“Okay, I think that the only answer is that you have to tempt the man within an inch of his life.”
A ridiculous laugh bursts out of me. “Really, Len? That’s ridiculous.”
