I’m making light of it, but I know that it’s not going to be easy. I just think that Wilder’s worth it.
Even if it feels uncomfortable for a while.
“I imagine it would be a lot. Probably more so because of my history… my past, the NHL…” He trails off. “Now that I’m thinking about it, really thinking, even if no one bought the story, or if she wasn’t threatening to expose us, there’s not a single scenario that ends where I keep coaching at OU while having a relationship with you.” I chew my lip until he adds, “But I want to be crystal fucking clear, I want to be with you, Maisie. In my mind, there isn’t an outcome that isn’t one where we’re together.”
It makes the anxiousness that’s swept through me lessen, knowing that he’s feeling the same way I am. That I don’t need to question his feelings or intentions. That no matter the outcome, what matters most to both of us is that we’re together.
With everything that’s going on, with the uncertainty of how things will end up, it gives me a much-needed feeling of security.
“I might not know what to do or the right way to fix all of this, but what I do know is that I want you, for as long as you’ll have me, baby. I want a future with you, and I don’t care what it looks like as long as you’re mine. I don’t care if I’m not at OUanymore. I don’t give a shit where I end up. I just want you.” He leans forward and cradles my jaw, pressing his forehead against mine. “I… love you, Maisie. If there’s only one sure thing that I know right now, it’s that I love you.”
His words wash over me in a torrent that makes my heart squeeze in my chest. Butterflies erupt in the pit of my stomach, and my eyes flutter closed as tears wet my lashes.
Hearing him say that he loves me is nothing compared to what I had imagined.
It’s so much more. It’severything.
Knowing how hard he’s had to fight to be able to say those three words back to me only makes it so much more meaningful, so much more powerful.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it until now. I’m sorry that I’m not always going to know the right way to do this, and that sometimes I’m going to fuck up and make mistakes. But I promise you, Maisie, I’ll never stop trying. I promise I’ll do my best to learn from them.”
“Wilder…” I whisper as the tears fall, streaking down my cheeks. God, Ilovethis man.
I love him so much it feels impossible to love anyone this much.
I would’ve waited forever to hear him say that he loves me because deep down, I know that he does. Even if he couldn’t say it out loud. I could feel it like a heartbeat beneath my palm, drawn to it the same way I have been since the first night we met.
I couldn’t explain it then, and I can’t now, only that it feels like a tether of something bigger than either of us, binding us together somehow.
“I love you,” I say as I turn on his lap until my knees are planted beside his hips, splaying my fingers along his jaw. Those dark, stormy eyes are more intense than ever before. “I will say it when you can’t. I will love you enough for the both of us, Wilder.I will love you even when you can’t love yourself. I will love you through the darkest days.”
His arms slip around my waist, and he hauls me against him until I’m flush, until his head rests on the curve of my chest, our heartbeats thrumming together.
My fingers slip into his hair and tangle with the soft, unruly strands.
“Those days won’t feel so dark with you. You’re sunshine, Maisie. My sunshine girl. And even when you’re not with me, I feel you surrounding me. Your warmth. Your kindness. Your soul that’s so fucking pure and beautiful and good. Even if I don’t deserve it, it’s like you’re woven inside of me somewhere.”
For a man who’s never been good at expressing his emotions or articulating how he feels with words, he’s managed to steal my breath with these.
“The good isyou, Wilder. You just have to let yourself believe it.”
“Fuck, what are we going to do, Maisie? I can’t lose you,” he murmurs against my chest, the words muffled with how tightly he’s pressed against me.
“I don’t know. But you’re not going to lose me. We’ll figure it out together, I promise.”
It’s the easiest promise that I’ve ever made.
What comes next will probably not be, but whatever happens, we’ll face it together.
Side by side.
“I think there’s only one path forward,” Wilder says as he lifts his head. “I think I’m going to have to resign from OU.”
CHAPTER 58
WILDER
“What?”Maisie says, her voice cracking with exasperation. “You… You can’tresign! Hockey is your world, yourdream.You can’t just give up and let her win. There has to be something that we can do. Some solu?—”
