With that, before I can ask her what the fuck she means by that, she spins on her heel and darts off, weaving through the parked cars until I no longer see her.
Leaving my stomach twisted in fucking knots and wishing that she’d do us both the favor and disappear forever this time.
But there’s something churning heavily in my gut as I start walking toward the entrance of my building, something that tells me that’s not going to happen.
And it unsettles me down to my bones.
CHAPTER 54
WILDER
I haven’t even stepped fullyacross the threshold into my apartment before Maisie’s colliding into me, her arms flying around my neck, legs wrapping around my waist, gripping me so tightly that I sway on my feet.
“Wilder, oh God,” she cries, burying her face into my neck. A second later, she pulls back to look at me, running her soft hands over every space she can reach, looking for a sign that I’m hurt. My hair, the tops of my shoulders, down my arms, across my chest, back up to my jaw. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you? Should we call the police?”
I canfeelher panic, and I fucking hate that she had to witness what she did. I hate that I’m the reason she’s scared.
“Baby,” I say softly, but she doesn’t lose the frantic edge, so I say it again. “Baby.” I grab her hand, stilling her, my words firmer. “Maisie. I’m alright, Sunshine. It’s okay.”
Her throat works, and she nods, her pretty blue eyes shining with tears. “I-I was so worried. I was going to call the police, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”
“You did the right thing. I just wanted to make sure you were safe, that’s all.”
She hugs me again, burying her face against my neck, squeezing even tighter this time, and something tugs tightly in my chest, twists me up and robs my breath.
“I’m safe, and I’m so fucking sorry that you were afraid, baby. Fuck, I’msorry.” My voice breaks when I think of anything happening to her, especially because of me. I used to think my past was my worst nightmare, but now I realize that it’s Maisie being hurt, or sad, or harmed because of me. It’s losing her.
Her head lifts, and she blinks down at me, shaking her head. “You crazy, insane man. It’s you that I’m worried about. God, Wilder. Your… Your mom.”
I nod.
I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry. That my guts are twisted into painful knots, knowing she just went through this.
“Are you okay, Wilder?”
“I’m…” I shake my head, trying to find the right words. Ones that fit the way I feel. “I’m okay.” It’s not a lie, but there’s more to the truth, more that I have to share with her.
If anything, what just happened is like a bucket of ice-cold fucking water that’s been poured over my head, forcing me to realize what I should have weeks ago.
That I can’t keep my past from Maisie any longer.
I can’t allow her to live in the dark when it’s no longer something that haunts me frombefore, but something that’s here, haunting me even now.
She deserves to know me, all of me, and I have to trust that she can handle it. That she’ll still want me after she hears all the fucked-up shit, that she’ll still love me once she learns the darkness living inside of me.
Because I’ve realized how much I want Maisie’s love. Her goodness.
Ineedit.
She asked me to trust her with my pain, and fuck, I’m going to try. The way I promised her I would.
“Take a shower with me?” I murmur against her lips before I take them in a kiss that’s fierce and powerful, pouring every ounce of emotion that’s storming through me into Maisie.
I swallow down her breathy whimper and the sigh that pushes past my lips when my fingers dig into her soft skin.
She tears her mouth away, sucking in air, and nods. “Yes, please.”
The shower is for her as much as it is for me. I want to take care of her, and a hot shower will help with the shock of adrenaline that will likely be wearing off soon and prevent her from crashing.
