His Adam’s apple bobs with a hard swallow.
“I know how hard it is to open up and let someone see the darkest, most painful parts of you, and I’m never going to push you to tell me anything about your past or the things that hurt you. I just want you to know that when you’re ready, I’ll be right beside you. I’m not scared of the darkness, Wilder. I’m not afraidof what’s hiding in it. I can handle it because I’m strong. So when you feel like you can let me in, I’ll be ready. Okay?”
He’s silent for so long that I’m scared that this is where he retreats, where he’s going to push me away past the point of no return, where I’ve finally lost him.
My heart begins to pound, tears stinging so hotly in my eyes that I have to bite the inside of my lip.
But then he lifts his eyes to mine, haunted with things I can’t begin to understand.
“Be patient with me. Please, Maisie.”
I nod. “I’ve got forever.”
“That’s what it may take, but I will never stop fucking trying for you.”
It’s enough.
Wilder Hawthorne is enough for me, just the way he is.
CHAPTER 52
MAISIE
In the twoweeks that have passed since the day at Crescent House, things have been blissfully quiet and uneventful.
Honestly, exactly what we needed. Calmness to settle around us sowecould settle with all that had happened.
Thanksgiving break at OU is officially underway. Classes are out, and campus is like a ghost town, which means that I’ve had the last week to do absolutely nothing.
I’ve spent most of my days reading and napping with Sebastian, baking and hanging out with Lennon, and every other free minute has been with Wilder when he wasn’t working.
Every night since that day at Crescent House, we’ve spent together. Instead of leaving, hestays.
He wraps me in his arms and pulls me against his chest and holds me until I fall asleep, even though I’ve now learned that sleep doesn’t come easily to him.
When it does… he has nightmares.
I learned that the first night he stayed over, exhausting my body until I literally passed out on top of him with him still inside of me.
Sometime later, I woke to Wilder crying out in his sleep, covered in a sheen of sweat, his skin clammy as I reached for him. He thrashed and kicked like he was fighting something off.
I was sobbing by the time I was finally able to wake him.
It broke my heart for the man I love, and for the boy that he once was.
The one who still relives the past at night when he closes his eyes.
He didn’t say a word about what happened, but he held me while I cried for him, his strong arms circled around me like he was trying to shield me from whatever was haunting him.
Before I fell back asleep, I felt his big, powerful body shake, and I just held on tighter.
Tighter than ever before.
I knew that even after the day that he cracked open and let me in the smallest amount, it wasn’t going to magically heal anything.
I didn’t expect him to suddenly split open and give me every piece of himself.
But I know now that he’s trying. I canseehow hard he’s trying.
