Page 43 of Playing with Trouble

CHAPTER18

Violet

Iwoke to the unfamiliar weight of someone else in my bed.For a few disoriented seconds, I forgot who it was.My walls weren’t up yet, my defenses not in place, and I let myself bask in the warmth of the solid body beside me, the steady rhythm of his breathing, the way I felt…safe.

Then it hit me.Ford.And just like that, the fragile comfort cracked.

Last night had been a mistake.Not the sex.I wasn’t about to pretend that hadn’t been incredible.It had been exactly what I wanted, exactly what I craved.Raw, physical, uncomplicated.Or at least that’s what it should have been.

But the conversation in bed afterward?That was the perilous part.I’d told him too much.Opened up more than I’d planned.And the way he’d insisted I deserved the kind of happy ending Madison and Andrea had…god help me, I almost believed him.

Almost.

But thatalmostwasn’t something I could afford to indulge in.Believing a man, trusting him, was how my mother had lost herself piece by piece until there was nothing left.I wasn’t going to make that same mistake.

Sex, I knew how to handle.Sex was control, a language I could speak fluently.I could flirt.I could tease.I could take a man to bed and let him think he was getting all of me while keeping the parts that mattered locked away.With Ford, it should have been no different.A distraction.A pressure valve released.Something to silence the ache without risking anything real.

Giving in to Ford was easy.Tooeasy.His body against mine, his hands everywhere, his dominance in the bedroom and the heat that flared between us…those were the things I could handle and make sense of.No promises, no permanence, no danger of heartbreak if I kept it in that neat little box.

Except Ford didn’t let it stay in that box and I wasn’t sure what to do with those pesky feelings for him that were starting to surface.

* * *

The sexafter the party at his parent’s house definitely opened the floodgates, and over the next several days Ford and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and I didn’t want to.I told myself I could enjoy this aspect of our situationship without letting it mean more, but god, everything about him was addictive.

We didn’t go back to the club, but that didn’t stop us from getting kinky.Ford ordered toys and other items off the internet.With the leather cuffs and restraints he’d selected, I let him spread me wide across my own bed, wrists anchored to the headboard while he settled between my legs and did wicked, unspeakable things to my pussy with his tongue, and toys, until I was sobbing and begging for release.

One night, he used a spreader bar, locking my ankles apart so I couldn’t close them even when the sensations became too much.He introduced me to a crop after I’d sassed him one too many times, and he used toys I hadn’t dared to keep in my nightstand—dildos, clamps, a butt plug, a cock ring for him, and other items that pushed me right up to the edge of what I thought I could handle.

As we indulged our physical chemistry, I found a fun balance between submission and rebellion.Some days I pushed him, bratty and defiant until he reminded me exactly who was in charge.Other days I slipped into obedience, chasing his praise like it was the only thing that mattered.And the truth was, Ford seemed to enjoy both sides of me equally.

That was the part that turned me on the most, because even when he had me tied up, gagged, or bent over for a spanking, I wasn’t powerless.I decided whether I’d be his good girl, or a brat, and he never once tried to take that choice away from me.Somehow, that made me feel more powerful than anything else.And more connected to him than I wanted to admit.

The other complication was Ford’s family, who still believed we were together.

“Laney wants you to sign up for a walkathon this weekend with her,” Ford said one morning, leaning against the counter with his coffee mug, discussing his sisters as though they’d already folded me into their lives.“And Liza’s been hinting about taking you out to lunch.”

“Wow, they really want me to be part of the family, huh?”The wistful edge in my voice betrayed me, and I silently cursed that slip up.

“Apparently,” Ford replied, his tone neutral.

I focused on rinsing the breakfast dishes, needing the distraction.

“Would you like me to give them your number?”Ford asked after a beat.

I set another plate in the dish rack, then turned to him with a raised brow.“I don’t see the point, considering I’m going to ‘break up’ with you soon.”I even did air quotes for emphasis.

“They won’t fault you for that,” he said easily, taking a sip of his coffee, looking too damn gorgeous with his hair slightly mussed, a t-shirt that clung to his chest and biceps in all the right ways, and dark jeans that sat low on his hips and fit just right.“They’ll happily blame me.”

“If they have my number, they’ll press me for information about the breakup,” I pointed out, drying my hands on a dish towel.“I don’t want to talk badly about you.”

Not even to protect myself, which said more than I liked about my feelings for him.I didn’t want to bash Ford to his sisters when he hadn’t done anything wrong in this scenario.We weren’t even together for real, so it wasn’t as though he could break my heart.Not officially.

“That’s fair.”He cleared his throat, shifting the subject.“Laney says she’d like more people to walk with her, but what she really needs are sponsors.”

“Wow, subtle,” I drawled, crossing my arms over my chest and giving him a look, knowing what he was hinting at.“You’re not even trying to hide that pitch.”

He chuckled.“You work for a casino.”