Your wife was never real. She was just playing a role. First the unwilling bride. Then the partner. Then the lover. All roles. All performances. And now I'm performing again. The obedient wife. The good girl.
None of it is real.
I'm not real.
I don't think I've ever been more than a puppet.
"I'm doing my best."
"Your best is killing you." His hand cups my face. "Fucking hell Gemma. Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness? Will that help?"
"No."
The word comes out flat. Empty.
He stares at me. And I see it, the moment he realizes he can't reach me. That whatever we had is gone.
"Eat your breakfast," he says finally. Standing. "I have meetings."
He leaves. I'm not surprised. He never wanted me. And when I became too much, like I always do, he couldn't take it.
Even now, I can't even be obedient correctly.
My phone starts ringing, and it's so jarring I nearly fall off the bed in surprise.
The number is blocked, but I know, instinctively, who it is.
I pick it up, place it to my ear and listen.
"Gemma." Alexei's voice. Smooth. Concerned. "I've been worried about you."
I should hang up. Should throw the phone away. Should do anything except listen. But Alexei might be all I have left, and there's still some part of me that craves connection, even if it's wrong.
"Have you?" My voice sounds scratchy and faint to my own ears.
"Of course. A little mole told me what happened with your brother." He makes a sympathetic sound. "Disowned. How horrible."
He doesn't sound sympathetic. He sounds pleased. Alexei loves chaos, and he's sewn a lot.
I helped.
That knowledge stings.
"Why are you calling me?" I ask. "To gloat."
"Never," he says, voice smooth. "I want to help you."
I laugh. It sounds wrong. Broken. "Help me? You're the reason Adrian knows. You're the reason Saint..." I stop. I don't want to talk about Saint.
"The reason Saint what? Betrayed you?" His voice is silky. "No, Gemma. Saint betrayed you because he's weak. Because he chose his position over you. I had nothing to do with that."
"You told him..."
"You got caught. You were sloppy." I can practically see him in my mind's eye. Sitting in Eclipse. That ugly ass gold chain around his thick neck. A smarmy smile on his greasy face. He's confident now. "Saint wanted to give you up. He wanted to secure his position. I was just convenient timing. The perfect reason."
The words hurt because he wasn't wrong. I saw Saint's face when he thought I was pregnant.
Antonio was dead. He didn't want me anymore. A barren wife...well...no one would blame him for discarding me.
