But then the unthinkable happened and more of Patch went into the ground with his sister and her unborn child.
“What about her?” McGuire asked. His normal overbearing older brother tone was long gone. In this moment, he was just McGuire, Patch’s age-old friend.
“Has she ever stopped moving?” Patch asked quietly.
“If you’re talking literally.” McGuire chuckled. “Only when she’s asleep. And even then, I’m not convinced.”
Patch gave a tired smirk. “She’s got that switch inside her. Always on. Always watching. It’s hard for her to shut down. Even when she does, it’s always right there, just below the surface, ready to pop.”
McGuire took a sip of beer. “She was born sharp. She’s always been wired that way. But Division 73 carved the rest of her out. Trained her to be invisible, and in some ways, invulnerable, but it’s impossible to take all the emotion out of someone, at least someone who gives a shit, and my sister, she cares almost too much.”
Patch nodded slowly. “You ever wonder if we broke her more than we saved her?”
McGuire glanced sideways. “We didn’t break her. The job did. The world did. We’re just the ones still standing beside her.”
“I don’t know, man.” Patch leaned back on both elbows. “We both know what it’s like to be betrayed by someone. Langley fucked us and Dane is dead because of it. But whatever ishappening inside the 73 and this Black Ledger thing, it goes way beyond one person going rogue. Or a small group turning their back on what’s right. It’s a fundamental breakdown in the system that she’s clung to with every fiber of her being. Everything she’s believed in for the last ten years, she’s now questioning. Disappearing into the depths of silence and being a ghost isn’t about saving herself. It’s about hiding from the truth.”
“That’s profound,” McGuire said. “Are you speaking from experience?” McGuire lowered his chin and waved his hand back toward the cabin door.
“Yeah, I might be, a little.” Patch lifted his hand, making an inch sign. “I can be man enough to admit I’ve spent more than this last year running from demons that might not actually exist. But her demons, those are real. I’m not talking about the people gunning for her, but the ones settling in her bones like guests who refuse to leave.”
“Patch, you’re not making much sense. What the hell are you trying to say?”
“If your sister doesn’t go back after we figure out who’s behind setting her up and who’s running Black Ledger side by side with the 73, she’ll have nothing to hold on to. She thinks she will, because she’d be out here with us, but it’s not enough for someone like Savvy.”
“Living off-grid, looking over her shoulder, not being able to be someone with purpose, yeah, that would be no good for Savvy,” McGuire said. “But she doesn’t have to go back. She could work with us.”
Patch chuckled. “I suppose that could be an option, but that wasn’t the direction I was headed when we started the conversation.”
“Would you want her to stay?”
Patch chewed on that question for a long minute. “I don’t want her to leave,” he admitted. “But I don’t want her to stay forme. That’s not fair. The 73 does. We both know that. We’ve run ops for that division, and she’s brought us both home when all hope was lost. When all is said and done, she’s got to go back and see all this through. Only she can tie up all those loose ends.”
“Why do you do that?” McGuire asked.
“Do what?”
“Talk her right out of your life when you fucking love her.”
Patch ran a hand over his scruffy face. “I don’t know. I only want what’s best for her, and maybe I’m not that.”
“At least you're no longer denying you love her.”
“I suppose not.”
They sat in silence a moment. The frogs sang on. The night pressed close.
“What about Riven?” Patch asked, needing to change the subject.
McGuire’s jaw flexed. He looked out across the water where the moonlight danced in slivers between the trees. “I love her.”
Patch waited, knowing McGuire didn’t say things like that easily.
“She’s lightning in a bottle,” McGuire continued, his voice low. “All fire and fear, wrapped in silence. She doesn’t need saving, but she sure as hell deserved someone who’d stand beside her when the storm hit. I didn’t mean to fall for her. I just… did. And now I can’t see past her.”
Patch gave a quiet chuckle. “You’re a poet, LaSalle.”
“Don’t spread that around.”
