He burst out laughing.
“I don’t see why that’s so funny.”
“It’s just how you phrased it, and it’s not true. At least not you getting shot at,” he said. “I stayed away from you for five years because I knew if I ever saw you again, this would happen, and I can’t be the man you want or need.”
“I don’t need you to be anything but you, Patch. That’s what you’ve always failed to understand.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. “I care about you. We both know that. But you want things I’m not capable of. I tried. I really did, and I hate myself for leading you on for five years. I won’t do it again. Maybe I’m an asshole for sleeping with you tonight, but at least I’m being honest that it can’t be anything other than sex. I’m sorry, Savvy. I’m too broken and you have a life to go back to.”
She wasn’t about to argue with him tonight. Not about this. Not when there were too many unknowns.
And too many things she hadn’t told him.
Not to mention the things she knew about him… and that damn mission that he’d believed broke him. Well, Patch wasn’t as broken as he thought he was. Wounded, sure. Lost, maybe. But broken? No. All he needed was someone to guide him back out of the war zone he’d landed in.
But right now, she couldn’t be that girl.
The really shitty part was she wasn’t sure if she could ever be now.
“Don’t be sorry,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “For now, I’m letting it go because I don’t know what’s ahead of me, and until I do, I’m not sure what kind of a future I’ll have.”
“We could talk in this circle all night.” He rolled her to the side, tucking himself up behind her. “Get some sleep.”
“Good night, Patch.” Besides making love, the one thing they’d always been good at had been telling each other just how bad they were for each other.
Only, she knew she’d made a mistake. She’d known that for the last five years, and she’d been too much of a coward to fight for the only man she’d ever loved.
She still was.
CHAPTER 5
Patch stoodover the stove and cracked an egg. “Fuck,” he muttered as half the shell landed in the frying pan. Quickly, he scooped it up and tried again. This time, he was successful. He plopped a second egg in the pan. Savvy had always liked her eggs over easy on toast, slightly overcooked, which meant they weren’t actually over easy, but he knew better than to argue with her about terminology, and he could handle cooking her eggs any way she wanted them.
What he couldn’t handle was keeping his damn hands off her gorgeous body. He’d woken up at five in the morning with her arms and legs draped over his legs and chest, and he’d lost his ability to think… again. Sex with her had always been the best.
In the last five years, he’d barely had it. He just didn’t care because if it wasn’t with Savvy, it just wasn’t worth it.
“Is there coffee?” she asked as she padded into the kitchen wearing only his damn T-shirt, which covered almost nothing. And her nipples puckered under the fabric.
“Yup.” He leaned over, lifting the hem of the shirt. “Jesus, woman. Could you at least put on panties or a pair of my shorts?”
“Why? Planning on bending me over the kitchen table?” With deft little fingers, she undid the button to his jeans.
He growled. “I’m not a young man anymore. I’m not even sure I can…” He swallowed hard as he glanced down, watching her unzip his jeans and reach inside his boxers. She curled her fingers over his growing length. “I guess I can.” He dropped the spatula. It hit the wood floor, missing his bare toes by a mere inch. Before he could ground out another word or do anything, she’d yanked his pants to his ankles and was on her knees. “What the hell are you doing?” He kicked off his jeans, pushing them to the side, and pulled her hair on top of her head.
“What does it look like?” She glanced up with a devil’s grin, a twinkle in her eyes, and him in her hands.
“It was a rhetorical question,” he managed with a labored breath.
Her chuckle was low, the vibrations against him sending a shiver through his body and straightening every hair on the back of his neck. "Hmm, and here I was thinking you liked my initiative." Without any warning, her warm mouth enveloped him, her tongue swirling around his length.
Patch groaned as the world tilted slightly. He saw stars. That woman had a magic that simply defied all reasoning. Every moment with her was like walking on a live wire, exciting and deadly at the same time.
As his senses swam with her actions, he clung to the kitchen counter for dear life. His fingers sank onto the bread loaf lying nearby, slowly crushing it beneath his grip. Her hands roamed up his thighs, firm yet gentle as they held him in place.
"Sa—Savvy…" he bit out, summoning whatever shreds of sanity were left to him. Her name sounded more like a prayer than an admonishment. His head fell back, eyes half-shuttered as he fought to rein in the desire coursing through him like wildfire.
She hummed around him again, and Patch nearly buckled under the sensations she stirred. Forcing his gaze down to meethers again, he was met with those wickedly pleasing emerald eyes sparkling with mischief under long, dark lashes.
