McGuire laughed. “No. I know you loved her. Probably still do. I forgave you because you were right about one thing.” He held up his finger. “Savvy was twitchy about love back then. She was moving up the ranks in shadow covert ops—a man’s world—and she always felt like she had something to prove. She thought being with you back then meant changing her career.” McGuire pulled in his line, set his fishing pole down, and met Patch’s gaze dead-on. “You never told her the details about that last mission before you dumped her. About those women and children who died.”
Patch closed his eyes, willing the memories to stay in the background. That op had been cursed from the start. The carnage left behind had been the worst of Patch’s career. Ithadn’t just been the men who’d died while he’d tried like hell to save them, only to bring them home in body bags to their families. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first time he’d done that—nor the last. But it had been the loss of civilian life that had him reeling. The babies in the street… bleeding out… crying for their mamas. He still had nightmares about them. It had fundamentally changed who he’d been. It had taken a bite out of his humanity in such a way that giving himself to a woman… to Savvy… had become impossible.
Hannah’s death had only sealed that deal.
“Telling her would have only made her try to change how I viewed what happened,” Patch said softly. “It was too raw, and in some ways, it still is.”
“It changed all of us.” McGuire leaned forward. “But I never meant for you to give up on yourself, on my sister, or on the two of you together. You’re my best friend and she’s my sister. I love you both. What I worry about now is how that will affect you going forward.”
“It won’t. If anything, it will make me sharper because I’d die before I’d let anything happen to her.” Patch arched a brow. “If I weren’t in South America already, you would’ve begged Remy to send me, and don’t deny it.”
“I won’t.” McGuire scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “We need to find out who Jenkins was protecting—or who was using him. And we need to know who’s watching West.”
“Savvy’s not gonna sit still,” Patch said after a moment. “She’ll want to dig. She always does.”
“I’m counting on it,” McGuire said. “But I’m also counting on you keeping her in check, making sure she doesn’t go off the rails, trying to go it alone, or keeping me out of the loop. She’s done that before.”
Patch looked out over the water. The fog was rising now, thick and low, swallowing the dock. “She can be sneaky. I’veseen her do it. Her job deals with things we don’t know about. Secret agencies inside the agency, that we’ve worked for, but never admitted. Now that we’re in this shadowy world the Brotherhood Protectors created, we’ve got our own network that might touch the fringes of that world, but even then, we have no idea what rogue operatives we’re dealing with and who’s behind it.”
McGuire huffed. “I bet my sister knows more than she’s offered, and I hate to admit it, but you’re the only one she might confide in.”
They fell into silence again, watching the dark creep in.
Patch finally stood. “I’ll take good care of your sister. You know that.”
“I want to say something I shouldn’t.”
Patch snorted, glancing back at the cabin. “Just because I care doesn’t mean I’m gonna go and do something crazy like act on it. I’ll protect her. I’ll keep her alive. I’ll help you and everyone else find the mole who set her and her team up inside the CIA. But what I won’t do is hurt your sister again. I’m not that man.”
McGuire stood and clapped a hand to his shoulder as he passed. “I will hold you to that statement because when all is said and done, my little sister is going back to her life. She’s not living on the fringe, being a shadow, or a ghost, like we did for a year. It killed me to cut ties, and it almost destroyed my relationship with Drew. That’s still on shaky ground. Drew and Savvy don’t speak, but they weren’t speaking much before that. The other men, they struggle too. Maybe a little less, but it wasn’t easy.” McGuire held up his hand. “You might think you’re thriving out here, but the reality is you’re teetering somewhere between existence and being erased. Sadly, I think you like it that way, and it breaks my heart. But I won’t let you pull my sister into that hell. Savvy wouldn’t survive.”
Patch didn’t respond. He only hoped he could keep his promise because whatever Savvy wanted from him… he’d give her. He was too weak a man not to.
CHAPTER 4
Savvy tossedand turned in what had to be the most comfortable bed she’d had the pleasure of lying on in years. It was better than the one she had at home.
Simple pleasures.
She laughed at the thought as she stared at the fan spinning softly above, pushing warm air through the small bedroom.
Patch had always been an interesting character. When they’d first met, he was just a hollowed voice on the other end of a radio… distant, faint, and broken. He’d been separated from his team. Lost and alone behind enemy lines, looking for a way home. For two days, she was his only connection to the outside world. His lifeline, and she wasn’t about to leave him to die.
She’d found his team… her brother… and devised an evacuation plan. The first one had gone to shit so fast it made her head spin. But she did what she did best, regrouped and brought Patch home.
It had been weeks before she’d been able to connect with him, meeting him face-to-face for the first time. When she’d laid eyes on him, he’d stolen her breath. Hell, he’d stolen her heart.
She rolled to her side, tucking her hand under her cheek, and sighed. Patch had gotten under her skin the moment he’dpulled her into his arms, hugged her close to his solid chest, and whispered in her ear,thank you,before brushing his thick lips against her temple.
Later that night, they’d gone out for drinks, and one thing led to another. She’d found herself slipping into his hotel room and into his bed. For the next five years, Patch was the air she’d breathed. The calm before her storm. The man she’d known she loved but couldn’t ever allow herself to say the words. Not because she hadn’t felt them. Or wanted to have him in her life.
But because he’d always had one foot out the door.
She’d guarded herself from the pain of losing him before she’d let him walk away. That had been inevitable. He’d once accused her of doing exactly the same thing. Perhaps she had. Her job was important and she’d worked too damn hard to give it up and she wasn’t about to resign for any man… not even Patch. But she hadn’t believed they needed to call it quits. Things had been working well enough for five years.
But then he’d changed. Something happened.
Well, she’d known what that something was. She’d seen the reports. She’d had the clearance. She’d been a bitch for digging for them behind his back, but she’d needed to know why his mouth said one thing, but his eyes conveyed something entirely different.
