Page 39 of The Jaded Notes

It’s a lifeline that keeps her safe and gives her a sense of power. And needing control is something I understand to my soul. Especially when everything in my life was chaos for so long.

I’ve always seen Lorna Hemings as the beautiful model who runs the family while Greg builds his empire. She keeps them in a pristine, meticulously constructed bubble. She manages everything to perfection and designs it to fit the narrative she wants the world to see.

Do I blame her? No. I understand her reason, but I admit I hate it for Livianna’s sake as she’s the victim in Lorna’s grief.

In this moment, I realize that Lorna’s nicely kept image of her family and how society sees them is how she keeps her destructive and hurtful thoughts together and tucked away so no one can see. And Livianna is the one who pays the price.

My heart aches for her. I take another glance down at her. She’s tucked in around me, looking like a peaceful angel.

I still hold her tight, trying to steady a heartbeat I’ve spent years training not to react.But it does…for her.

And I hate how much I like the way that feels.

She stirs and lifts her head. “What time is it?”

I glance at the display embedded in the wall near the panel that runs the biometric-syncing lights. “Late. Or early. Depends on how you measure the day.”

She blinks, still half-tangled in sleep. “What?”

“It’s past business hours, close to dinnertime. Meaning it’s late for work but early for the evening.”

She pushes upright fast, alarm sparking in her eyes. “You’re telling me I’ve been asleep for…how long?”

I sit up. “It doesn’t matter. Your body needed to recover, and I gave you the space and time to do that.”

“What made you bring me up here?”

“You were having a panic attack. I knew this area could put you at ease in a way I couldn’t.”

“Do you use it for that reason?”

“What reason would that be?”

“You told me once you suffered from panic attacks, but you made it sound like that was in the past.” She studies my expression. “Do you still have them?”

My jaw locks hard. Not because I’m upset with her, but because I don’t want to let her see that side of me. It’s too much.

She reaches toward me, hesitant.“Jax, it’s okay if you do.”

“Livianna, stop pushing me. I already told you this room recalibrates my nervous system after high-risk decisions I make. It was built to calm, relax, and reset everything. That’s it. Don’t make it out to be anything more than that.”

“Sorry.” Her cheeks turn red, and she pulls back her arm. “You must think I’m a terri?—”

“What I think is you’re brave.”

“I can’t believe I poured my soul out to you.” She glances at the elevator door, then back at me. “What about the rest of the interview?”

“I have all the information I need.” I keep my voice steady, even though nothing inside me is. “There are a few things we still need to discuss, but you’re in the program if you want to be.”

“Very much.” A smile breaks from her lips. “Thank you, Jax. I know your guidance will take me to the next level.”

“Only if you make changes.” I give her a serious stare. “If you want a fashion house that dominates one entire marketsector, you have to be honest about what you want it to look like.”

She nods, and the warm golden light that casts over us changes to a soft purple. She must be escalating again.

I can’t help myself. I reach over and rub her knee. “You don’t have to do anything at this moment, but you need to answer me at some point.”

There’s a beat of stillness as she seems to consider what I said. After a second, she places her palm on the top of my hand.