Page 25 of The Jaded Notes

It’s deliberate and dismissive. Exactly what I deserve.

The second I tap the mic, feedback shrieks like a banshee. My inner fury grabs it like it’s a signal from hell. The sound fits the soundtrack in my head.

The front of house barks in talkback, “Wedges aren’t rung out. Stop tapping the mic.”

I nod, but wanna flip him off.

Even though I know I shouldn’t, I approach Bren. “You wanna yell now or wait until after I finish ruining this show?”

He slams his palm against an amp, turning to face me with eyes full of fire. “You wanna talk about what happened? Let’s do it. You just lit a fuse under every one of us. That podcast stunt… Was that your idea of revenge or just another blackout spiral you’ll forget by tomorrow?”

“Fuck you,” I growl. “I didn’t know Amanda was gonna come after me like that. You think I would’ve walked into that room if I had any clue?”

He rips his guitar off and throws it across the stage. It hits the floor with a sickening crack.

“You sold that song, Cash. You gave it to Chrome Honey without telling us. That’s not just betrayal. That’s sabotage.”

I roll my eyes. “It was a side thing.”

“No.” Bren snarls at me. “It was a torpedo, and you aimed it straight at Livianna.”

That’s the punch in the gut that unleashes my guilt.

I step closer. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t fucking hate myself every second for it?”

“Then maybe stop writing songs you’ll regret.” He grows stiffer.

“Fuck, Guns. I was out of my head. You know how Leon gets to me. How he’s got his claws in?—”

“Don’t.” Bren’s voice shakes like thunder. “Don’t fucking blame Leon for this one. This one’s all on you.”

He turns to trudge away, but I grab his shoulder. “Don’t you walk away from me. We need to fix this. We’ve got a gig to do.”

He spins around and shoves me so hard I stagger back. “You don’t get to demand anything. Not after what you did.”

“I didn’t mean for it to go public. I didn’t mean for it to hurt her.”

Bren’s eyes flash with something like pity, but it’s buried under rage. “You never mean to hurt her, but you always do. That’s your fucking problem. You think you have the right.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you act like your broken heart gives you permission to destroy everyone who’s trying to help you. Me, Hawke, Cooper, and especially her. We’re all collateral damage in your fucking torment.”

I pace, clawing at my hair with my free hand. “It wasn’tmeant to get out. I’ve already lost her, and it still feels raw and bloody like the day it first happened. And now this? I keep fucking up, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back.”

“Then fight for her the right way!” Bren strides toward me, chest out. “Not through back-alley record deals and revenge porn lyrics dressed as poetry.”

The air splits with a savage quiet. A few crew members scatter. The techs pretend not to watch, but everyone’s listening now.

I stare at Bren. For the first time, I see it. He’s not mad because I fucked up. He’s angry because he doesn’t know how to save me anymore.

Neither do I, mate.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” My desperate plea bleeds through my tone. “Guns, tell me how to fix it.”

He doesn’t answer for a long beat.

Then, softly and bitterly, he answers. “Start by showing up sober. For once.”