Page 108 of The Bitter Words

I stand in the doorway for a moment, taking her in. I wish I could tell her everything and we could be happy together.

Even if she knew, I don’t think she’d understand how or why I allow Leon to continue to abuse me. It’s something that makes no sense to me, either. All I know is he finds a way every time he chooses.

I creep over to the bed and sit beside her. I swipe her hair away from her face and her wrist comes into view. It’s covered with a large, transparent bandage.

My stomach tightens and I dwindle into myself. Why is she cutting herself again? Her eyelashes flutter and she opens her eyes.

“Morning, Lily.” I send her a soft smile. “Please talk to me and let me explain.”

She pushes up, rests her back against the headboard, and yanks her sheets up to cover her chest. “What makes you think you have the right to invade my personal space?”

“I don’t deserve it or have any right. I just love you so much, I can’t sit back and watch you walk away from us.”

“You don’t get to tell me you love me.” Her cheeks turn red. “I don’t want to hear your lies and we both know everything that comes out of your mouth is one.”

“Me loving you is the truth. It always has been and that won’t ever change.” I place my hand on what I believe to be her knee.

She shoves it off. “Callum, you need to leave me alone. Nothing you say will change my mind.”

“But what if I told you?—”

“What? That you didn’t sleep with Zara?” Livianna fakes a laugh. “You know, there is something I want to know.”

“What?”

“How many times did you fuck her when we were together?”

“Once.”That I know of and I was drugged by Leon in order for her to take advantage of the situation.“It never would’ve happened if I had been sober.”

“You swear on your dad’s grave?”

“I do. I swear on my pops’ grave, Lily.”

It’s the first time I’ve put his name on this, and the world tilts like it heard me.

Her gaze roams over my face as if she’s looking for my deception. She won’t find any.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that if there have been other times I’m unaware of, it doesn’t matter. I’m not a willing participant, so I’m not taking on the false truth that I’ve cheated on Livianna in some way.

She pushes my chest. “Once is more than I’m willing to accept.”

“Lily, I’m dying inside without you.” My heart aches and my throat nearly shuts. “I’m sorry and I promise to make it up to you somehow.”

“No!” She kicks my leg with her foot under her bedding. “Get out and leave. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“Please, Lily. I love you and?—”

“Nothing. You don’t get it.” She crawls out from underneath her sheets and around me.

“What am I not getting?” I stand to give her space.

She scoots off the mattress and stomps into her en suite. “I don’t love you anymore.”

I lose my breath and follow her. “That can’t be true. What we have is indestructible.”

“Wrong, it is. You made sure of that the second you were with her.” Livianna grabs her bag off the counter and dumps the contents out.

She shifts through the mound of junk, searching for something. That’s when I notice a black-and-gold box for a three-pack of condoms.