Page 145 of The Twisted Beats

My brain shuts up and I don’t hear the voices in my head telling me that I’m the cause of all the bad things around me.

That’s not true. I hear them, but they don’t bother me. I just tune them out easier. Everything is better with those little miracles running in my veins.

“I should go get Guns.” Callum peeks over his shoulder. “We need to get on our way.”

“I’ll get him.”I need an excuse to get out of this heavy room.“You stay here. I’ll be right back.”

I get ready to run up the stairs. As I pass Callum, he grabs me by the arm and spins me toward him.

He pulls me into a hug and whispers, “I love you, Lily. Even if you can’t love anything or anyone right now. No matter what happened, I love you and always will.”

Out of nowhere, tears spring from my eyes. What the fuck? I’m not supposed to feel this stabbing in my heart.

Why aren’t the pills working? It’s like a faucet broke and these traitorous salty waves keep flowing down my cheeks, soaking Callum’s black T-shirt.

He holds me tighter and breathes like he hasn’t had air in days. “Finally.”

What’s that supposed to mean?

The thought flits out of my mind as my stomach spins, mixing every lost emotion I’ve had since New Year’s Eve. I try to hold in my cries, but I can’t stop. I shake and weep in his arms.

He kisses me and caresses the back of my head. “I’m right here, love. I’m never going anywhere.”

“Fuck, bro. You broke her.” Bren’s voice cuts in.

I can’t see what’s going on because my face is buried inCallum’s chest, but he tenses. It’s a sure sign he’s given Bren some kind of evil eye.

Ms. Mayze runs her palm over my back. “Honey, we need to go. Bubba and you can sit in the back seat and he can take care of you the entire way there.”

“Do you need me to carry you to the car?” He pulls back to see my face.

I shake my head and suck in a ragged sob. He leads me out with his arm around my waist, making it easy to lean into him.

Bren is a few strides ahead of us. Callum’s mom walks on the other side of him.

I overhear her say to him in a whispered breath, “See, I told you she needed to hear it.”

“Ma…” He falls back so she’s ahead of us and can’t hear him. “Lily, how are you physically feeling today?”

“Fine. I’m not sure I even need to go to this appointment.”

“It’s just to make sure you don’t need more medical intervention.” He kicks a pebble with the toe of his motorcycle boot. “That’s what Ma says, anyway.”

“She knows more than I do about this kind of stuff, so I guess it’s for the best.”

He opens the door for me and helps me into the back seat. He climbs in and instantly takes me in an embrace.

We drive to the appointment, listening to music Bren plays for us. Every once in a while, one of them comments about a harmony or a type of arrangement they like.

It’s inspiring to witness how focused they are on their dreams even when they’re trying to take care of something so heavy.

We get to the doctor’s office. Bren waits in the waiting room while Callum and his mom accompany me into a small exam room. I sit on a table while they find seats against the wall nextto each other.

The female doctor enters. “Hi, Livianna. I’m Dr. Galveston. I understand you believe you miscarried and we’re just here to make sure you don’t need additional medical care.”

“Yes. That’s why I’m here.” I glance at Ms. Mayze.

She nods and holds Callum’s hand. He doesn’t say a word. He just sits and stares at the doctor. She asks permission to speak in front of them, to which I agree.