Page 12 of The Twisted Beats

I shake my head and growl in frustration. “You’re talking in circles. Just tell me what you mean.”

“While I’m in Malaysia, I’d like to speak with you when we can, but I won’t expect you to wait around for me. And I certainly don’t want to put us on a schedule to connect when we both know we’ll let each other down.”

I consider his points. He’s not wrong, but I can’t lose him. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

“Jax, when you come back, then what happens?”

“Hopefully, you’ll be single and we can pick up where we’re leaving off.”

“In a forbidden, secret affair?”

“This is more than a trite affair.”

“Is it?” I place my hand over my heart. “Not a single person knows about us. Not even my closest friends. To everyone else, you’re some mystery man I’ve been dating. The only reason they don’t push me to tell them about you is because they think I’m always working and only fithimin when I can.”

“That doesn’t land solely in my lap.” His tone is stern. “We both came to that decision when we got involved.”

I scoot my chair away even though he’s right. “Please go back to your side of the table. The server is watching us.”

Jax rises to his feet, takes his chair, and sits across from me. He gets situated and takes a drink of his wine.

He places it down and stares warmly into my eyes. “Livianna, I don’t want to leave with us strained. I care about you and want to share my last night here spoiling you, ravishing you, and remembering all we share.”

I glance down and adjust the napkin on my lap. One last night with him isn’t enough.

The child in me wants to throw a tantrum and storm out of here, but Jax would never let me get away with that. No, he’d let me flee and I’d regret it the second I did.

The server brings out our meals, giving us a reprieve from our intense discussion. I put on a brave face and build a smile as if nothing is wrong.

But everything is.

I wanted to tell Jax I love him tonight and this happens. Why?

Because you don’t deserve a love like his.

I toss the thought out of my head like Jax has taught me to do. Release the negative and focus on the positive.

Once we have our plates before us, I decide I’m going to be greedy. I love and want Jax. If it’s for only one night, then I’ll take it. He needs to be reminded of what he’s missing out on while he’s gone.

I pick up my utensils to cut into one of my scallops. “I hate that you’re going to Malaysia, but I’ve always known your career is your wife. You?—”

“My wife?”

I peek up and think back.

Did I say wife?

Crap, I think I did.

Nice Freudian slip, Livianna.

“Jax, you must have misheard me. I said, yourlife.”

He runs a suspicious eye over me. “Continue with what you were saying.”

“You planned a beautiful romantic date and I’m not going to spoil it with a bad mood.” I place a brick in front of my heart and start building my wall.

“It pleases me to hear you say that.” He lifts his knife and fork to dig into his steak. “If all goes according to plan, I’ll be home soon. We’ll be together again and it’ll be even better than it is now.”