The sweet sounds of Beyonce’s “Halo” played in the bridal suite.
Ben had practically had a halo the last time Kenzie had seen him. He’d been damn near angelic, with his hair curling around his ears and his eyes bright with passion. For her. It might be the closest to heaven she would ever get.
And now she was in purgatory.
Wearing a lovely rose gold matte corset bodice with a matching floor-length skirt. Devi had designed it. Devi, who was happily settling in with Zach Reed. Devi, who had designed the gowns as both bridesmaid and fet wear since if one lost the skirt, the bridesmaid would be down to a corset and thong and ridiculous heels.
She was pretty sure Kala had already had sex in it.
She was never going to have sex again.
The song ended. She looked up at Lou, who was probably looking forward to being violated by TJ at some point in the wedding. “Could you put on ‘Cornelia Street’?”
Lou’s whole body sagged. “No. No ‘Cornelia Street.’ And while we’re at it, no more Lana Del Rey. If you want more Bey, it’s going to beLemonade. How about Florence and the Machine?”
“Early Flo,” Kala suggested, walking in and straightening her skirt. Her twin looked calm and cool, relaxed in a way she hadn’t been before getting properly dicked down by a pilot. “Lungs. You know I love ‘Girl with One Eye.’ We can rechristen it ‘Spy with One Eye’ and dedicate it to Ben.”
Just hearing his name made her heart ache.
She’d spent weeks sitting in her surprisingly lonely house since Kala had moved into Cooper’s place, and they now shared it with Devi and Zach. Lou and TJ had their own apartment, a place close to Lou’s cover job with 4L Software’s development lab. Tasha and Dare were in the same building.
Now it was just her and Brianna, who had been attending a week-long writer retreat before returning last night for the wedding. So Kenz had spent that time eating cookies she baked, listening to sad-girl music, and switching between cursing Ben’s name and wishing he was there.
She might be fading like the Fae did.
She laid back on the chaise lounge. They were at a luxurious downtown hotel that must have cost a shit ton of money. She should be happy.
Everyone was happy. She was happy for them. She was. She was also sad for herself.
“You look like you’re trying to fade. Like some faery queen who lost her only love.” Kala stood over her, arms crossed under her chest. She was in a matching dress except hers was a dark green. Lou was in a sunny yellow version. “Are you going to perk up when Tash comes out or should I prepare her for your funeral?”
“Hey, you know she’s sad.” Lou moved in, bringing Kala a glass of champagne. “Watching Tash and Dare get married has to stir up old memories.”
“They’re not old memories. I know my sister can paint a patina of tortured romance over anything, but it was only a couple of weeks ago and she’ll probably see him again and probably make the poor choice of sleeping with him again.” Kala’s eyes narrowed. “Unless you’ve actually given up. Lou, do we have an ‘I just broke up and I’m going torun through some dick’ playlist? Because there are a bunch of Canadians out there. I can catch one for you. Dare’s relatives aren’t half bad, and you won’t have to run into them in a professional setting. Also, I think some of the Bliss guys are here. I can get you two of those.”
“Hey, I think this is the part where I point out that those are men and they have feelings,” Lou began.
“Yes, in their penises. Which is the only thing I’m worried about right now,” Kala shot back.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought about it. She’d thought about going to Bliss and standing in the middle of town until she was claimed by two hot men and lived the rest of her life chasing aliens and finding new ways to make beets edible. It seemed nice. Simple. And there were lots of animals.
Ben probably liked animals. Like Canadian animals. Beavers and stuff.
A tear slipped from her eye. She missed Ben.
“You have to rally,” Kala announced. “This is Tasha’s day. I can’t have you fainting while you’re walking down the aisle. I’ve told Seth if you do, he’s supposed to drag you.”
Well, that felt rude. She forced herself to sit up and frown her twin’s way. “I’m not going to ruin Tasha’s wedding. I’ll be fine. I’m excellent at hiding how I feel. I keep calm and carry on.”
Now Lou was staring at her like she’d said something dumb.
She could. She hadn’t felt the need to around her friends and family. “You know I don’t think it’s good to bottle things up. When you do you end up with those frown lines Kala’s getting. Thank the universe we’re not pretending to be each other anymore and I can go back to a proper skincare regimen.”
Kala groaned but sat down beside her, putting a hand over hers. “I’m sorry he turned out to be an asshole.”
“I lied to him.” She could still see his beautiful face…and body. He had such a hot bod.
“We’re spies. He should expect some…subterfuge,” Kala allowed.
