“To be taken seriously. To be seen as Kenzie and not just a part of her twin.”
Taggart sighed and leaned forward. “And that is why you’re so close. I like the fact that you call us all out. It’s easy to tease Kenz because she seems so solid. Kala’s always had a difficult time fitting into the world.”
“Why?” Ben asked. “Her sisters altered their worlds so she would fit in. I haven’t met your sons, but I would bet they’re the same. I would bet Kala got the majority of the attention.”
A laugh huffed from Taggart, but there was nothing amusing about the sound. “Don’t critique my parenting. Not until you’ve had a kid who’s on the spectrum. I’m going to be honest. I wouldn’t be surprised to find Kenzie was, too. Hers comes out looking shiny and adorable so it’s easy to overlook, but it’s there. I’ve heard what you said. She should have been a prom queen. I know that sounds good, but I question it. Having her twin made her think about things beyond herself. I know I talk about Kala like she’s completely mine and Kenz is completely her mom’s, but the truth is our kids are always a combination of their parents and something that’s uniquely them. Kenzie could have been the golden girl, but she chose to be a sister. She chose to love the people around her more than she loved herself.”
That sounded like Kenzie. Like how when she was ripped apart, she hadn’t turned it on him. She’d sucked it up and tried to spare him embarrassment. She’d tried to make their fight private, but he’d wanted to tear her down publicly. He’d wanted everyone to see who she was. Even though they all loved her.
Who the fuck was he? Did he want to be this asshole who dragged his girl?
“Ben, I like that you won’t let anyone call her dramatic even though she is.”
That got his back up. “Don’t fucking say that.”
Tag’s lips curled. “Does it help that I like drama? Kenzie feels things deeply. It was odd to have the two of them. Tasha was so normal. She had normal relationships, and honestly, not that many. Kala has never looked at anyone but Cooper in a romantic fashion. But Kenzie.” He sighed, and his head shook like he was thinking about trying times. “She fell in love once a week, and it was over the top and usually ended in screaming and crying and vowing to never love again. Then Monday rolled around and the cute guy in her math class smiled her way.”
Bitterness welled inside him. “So you’re saying I’m the flavor of the week.”
“I’m saying the young woman who sat here with her face as blank as a doll’s wasn’t going through the end of a crush. I’m saying that since the moment she met you she hasn’t taken a boyfriend or a Dom. Oh, she’s played from what I can tell, and I try not to be able to tell. It’s been a long dry spell for a woman who likes to drink, if you know what I mean. I wonder if you can say the same.”
“Are you asking me if I remained pure while your daughters twisted me every way they could and Manny laughed behind my back? Hell, he laughed to my front. He pretty much told me, but I was too stupid to hear it.”
Big Tag sighed again and stood. “All right, then. I’ll talk to Joseph in the morning and we’ll figure out how to handle this. Personally, I think we should separate the teams and confer only through handlers from now on.”
He’d known it would be this way. “With you keeping the Brits, of course. So what you’re really saying is Tim and I aren’t welcome anymore.”
“Or I could bench my girls. That actually might be better. Send Kala and Coop into the woods with Zach and Devi, and the rest of my family can stay in Bliss. I’ll stay here at The Garden with Lou and TJ, and Sami and Oliver can take the lead on my side. If I do that, you and Tim can stay.”
“Or we can be the professionals we are and do the job.”
A brow rose over icy eyes. “Professional? Ben, you’re the one who disobeyed a direct order and will do it every single time because the truth of the matter is you need him. You need Huisman.”
They kept saying it, but it didn’t make it truth. “I fucking hate him.”
Tag nodded in agreement. “Yes, and that’s the flip side of love, but they’re equally powerful and Kenzie’s right. I worried she might be in a love triangle with the memory of your ex-girlfriend. She told me it wasn’t Deanna. It’s always been Huisman.”
He felt his hands fist again and tried to get control of his rage. “I’m sick of hearing this. It’s a manipulation so you can take control of the op.”
“Make no mistake. I am in control, and you’re on thin ice.” He started for the door. “I expect you to send me anything Huisman sends to you. You step out of line one more time and I’ll pull my whole team, and not just my girls. I know Tim is smart, but Lou runs circles around him, and Sami and Oliver know Europe better than anyone. So think about your next move. And I expect you to be civil. I probably can’t get Kenzie out of here for a couple of days.”
“I’m not getting the lecture?” Ben asked. “I thought you would either beat the shit out of me or tell me all the ways I should get therapy for my anger issues. I was certain you would tell me all the things I need to do before I’m even vaguely acceptable as your daughter’s true love.”
Tag looked back, and there was a sadness on his face. “You might be, but my daughter is smart. Sometimes love is not enough to save the people we care about. Love starts with ourselves. I know that sounds all new agey and Whitney Houston, but it’s true. The baseline of our love has to start with ourselves, has to begin with accepting the surprisingly hard-to-deal-with fact that we are worthy of love and happiness. You aren’t there, and I don’t think you will be. The good news is, unlike her sister, she’ll move on. She’ll cry for a couple of weeks and miss you, and maybe she’ll miss you for the rest of her life, but soon she’ll find herself at her club and some well-meaning Dom will look at her and know how good his life could be if he had that beautiful soul to take care of. And she’ll say it’s nothing more than sex. She’ll tell everyone she’s got to get back on the horse, but he’ll be good to her. He’ll show up for the little things. He’ll make sure she has coffee in the morningand someone to watch TV with at night, even if he’s not interested in the show. He’ll sit and let her lay on his lap, and he’ll enjoy it because she’s enjoying it. One day she’ll find her heart is soft again and he’s filling it. She’ll figure out the big grand gestures mean nothing in the face of the comfort of everyday life. Somewhere in the days they share and the nights they cuddle close and get through whatever life throws them, you’ll become a memory. One more brick in the path that led her to real love. She’ll have her wedding day with her family around her, welcoming her chosen husband. She’ll have a collaring night with her club family, and it will be every bit as emotional as her wedding because it’s another part of herself being loved and accepted. Somewhere down the line they’ll have kids and they’ll raise them and grow old wrapped in my daughter’s unique and loving energy. And it will begin because she will love herself enough to not stay with a man who cannot love her back.”
Every word felt like a dagger. This was not what Dare had talked about. What Cooper had warned him was coming. There was supposed to be a ton of dad advice and calling him son, which he would reject because he wasn’t this man’s son. The truth of the matter was he wasn’t anyone’s son.
“Stay away from her and we’ll be fine. I’ll have her out of this in a couple of days and once this op is done, I’ll make certain we don’t come into your orbit again,” Tag promised. “You can work however you like, and one day you’ll find that bullet with your name on it and you and Huisman can be together again. You know she never doubted you. Huisman tried his best, but he couldn’t get her to turn on you. I guess he then remembered who the weak link was. Good luck, Ben.”
He stood there as the door closed, and Ben wondered if it hadn’t closed forever.
Chapter Fifteen
Kenzie stared at the screen in front of her. She’d said good-bye to Lucy that morning as she and Sami headed back to France. She’d thought about going with them, but her mother had let her in on Dad’s plan and she’d reluctantly agreed that taking a sabbatical was for the best.
Removing herself from the equation would let her father handle things in whatever way he felt served the mission. It also took her twin out of harm’s way.
They’d sat up with her last night, obviously expecting her to cry and wail her pain like she normally would. She would hang with her girls and say everything she needed to say, and they would hype her up so she could move forward and find the right one.
