Instead, Ruby just said in a straightforward tone, “So, there's clearly an attraction between us. Why not explore it?”
The directness of it stole Celeste's breath. No games or pretense. Just Ruby laying it out plainly, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
Her laugh came out strangled. “Why not? Because I made certain decisions a long time ago about how I'd live my life. And I intend to keep living that way.”
“And yet you kissed me.”
The observation hung between them, undeniable.
“That was—” She pulled onto the road, focusing on the merge with more intensity than it required. “A mistake.”
“Was it?”
Ruby was watching her patiently and knowingly and entirely too perceptive. Like she could see straight through every excuse Celeste was scrambling to construct.
“I'm attracted to you,” Celeste admitted, because what was the point in denying it now? Ruby had felt it in that kiss, had tasted it on Celeste's lips. “Every fiber of my being wants to touch you, hold you and kiss you again. But I can't. I made my choice years ago, and I'm not changing course now.”
Even as she said it, she knew how weak and unconvincing it sounded.
“If that's the case,” Ruby murmured, “then you don't have as much control as you think you do.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“It means you already kissed me. The perfect control you're so proud of? It already failed.”
Annoyance flared hot in Celeste's chest—not at Ruby, but at herself and at the truth of what was just said. She’d spent years building this withdrawn life and Ruby had dismantled it in less than forty-eight hours.
She signaled abruptly, pulled into an empty gas station parking lot, and threw the car into park with more force than necessary.
“I have control. And I’ll prove it.” She leaned across the console and kissed Ruby again.
It was supposed to be quick. A point proven and then they'd move on and never speak of this again.
But Ruby's hand came up to cup the back of Celeste's neck, and the kiss deepened. She heard herself make a sound she didn't recognize, something between a gasp and a moan. Her fingers tangled in Ruby's hair, soft and perfect against her palms.
This wasn't proving anything except that she had no control at all.
Ruby's other hand found her waist, pulling her closer despite the awkward angle and the gear shift digging into Celeste's hip. She couldn't care about anything else except the way Ruby tasted, the way she felt and the small sounds she was making that drove Celeste absolutely wild.
Somewhere in the haze, she registered Ruby's tongue tracing her lower lip, and she opened for her without thinking. The kiss turned desperate. Celeste's hands moved to Ruby's shirt, fingers fumbling with buttons because she needed—God, she needed—
Ruby's hands were doing the same to her shirt, and then there was warm skin under her palms and Ruby's mouth moved to her neck, and Celeste's head fell back and oh God this was happening in a gas station parking lot in broad daylight where anyone could see…
Ruby pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, one eyebrow raised. The look was eloquent:See? This is what happens when you try to prove a point.
Reality crashed back in like cold water. Celeste yanked her hands away, refastening her buttons with shaking fingers. Her shirt was half-open and Ruby's was worse. They were both breathing hard, swollen, and Celeste's hair had come completely loose from its ponytail.
“That was yet another lapse in judgment. I assure you, it won’t happen again.”
Ruby was still watching her, and Celeste could feel the weight of her gaze. “It doesn’t need to be this way.”
Celeste stared ahead, her hands gripping the wheel. “When I was nine, my cousin Marco came out to the family. He was living in Italy, engaged to a man. My grandmother—” She swallowed hard, forcing the words out. “She cut him off completely and told everyone he was dead to her. The whole family followed her lead. I haven't seen Marco in twenty-five years.”
She could still remember that day. The phone call from Italy. Her grandmother's face going hard and cold. The way Vittoria had gathered the family together and announced that Marco no longer existed to them. That they were to never speak his name again.
Celeste had been too young to understand fully. But she'd understood enough to be terrified.
Ruby's sharp intake of breath was audible.
