“Probably.” Lizzie set down her fork. “I don’t like it, Sarah. Her being here longer. Watching us.”
“We’ll be careful. Let’s not talk about that troll anymore,” Sarah said with a smile. “She’ll be gone soon enough. You know, we should have made her go on that ghost tour. If she’s scared of iguana’s I’m sure the story about Robert the doll would have really had her pee her pants.”
Lizzie burst out laughing. “You are the worst, Sarah.”
“I aim to please.” She paused a moment. “I do sometimes wonder about ghosts. Like I wonder if Billy can see me now.”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think I want to believe. Like maybe my dad’s still around somehow, watching out for us.” Lizzie played with the edge of a throw pillow. “I still expect him to walk in the door sometimes. Is that silly?”
“Not at all.” Sarah reached over and took her hand. Lizzie’s thumb brushed over hers, soft and tender.
“Do you ever think that about your dad?”
Immediately, Sarah looked away. “Not really. I didn’t really know him. So it’s just not the same, I guess.”
She hated lying about this part of herself more than she’d hated lying about being gay. But there were some things she couldn’t share with Lizzie, as much as she wanted to. And the truth was, this part she didn’t want to share.
“I guess,” Lizzie said, frowning. “What about your mom? I mean, I know she’s alive. But like, where? You don’t mention her a lot.”
Sarah pulled her hand back and stood up. “She’s in Texas.” She felt Lizzie staring at her without even having to turn around.
“Texas?”
“Yeah.”
A moment’s hesitation. “I thought you said you were from Wisconsin.”
“We moved a lot. I lived in California and Colorado too,” Sarah said as she turned around.
“Oh, ok. It’s just that you never talk about your family, that’s all.”
Sarah shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell. My dad is dead, my mom isn’t someone I talk to. No siblings. That’s that.”
Lizzie pulled back and looked at her. Really looked. Sarah could see the questions in her eyes. The concern. The confusion about why Sarah kept evading her questions. Because clearly, that was not in fact that. There was more. Sarah knew it. And Lizzie could sense it.
“Let’s talk about something else, alright?” She stepped closer to her and grabbed Lizzie’s hands, pulling her up.
But Lizzie just nodded. “Okay. Something else.”
They moved back to the couch. Sarah pulled Lizzie into her lap, and they kissed until Sarah could almost forget the voicemail. The tears in her office. The way her mother’s voice still had the power to make her feel six years old and worthless.
But she could feel Lizzie’s confusion. The way she held back slightly, uncertain. Sarah was pushing her away without meaning to. Creating distance with kisses instead of words.
And she had no idea how to stop.
Chapter 22
Lizzie
Lizzie sat in the hotel van in the employee parking lot, phone pressed to her ear as the line rang. She had twenty minutes before the spring breakers showed up for tonight’s bar crawl. This would be her fourth one since arriving, third one she’d done on her own. Four weeks. She’d been in Key West for four weeks now, and somehow it felt like both forever and no time at all.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite interning stepdaughter,” Jasper’s voice came, warm and soothing as always.
“Hey, Jasper.”
“How are you? Any more random weather disasters to report?” She heard the twinkle in his voice as he spoke.
“No, nothing so far. But I’m on my guard. I half expect a random snowstorm.” Lizzie checked the time. She didn’t mind chit chatting with Jasper, but this time she’d actually had a reason to call. “I was wondering if I could ask you about something. Schools in Miami. Do you know anything about good writing programs there?”
