He held his breath as they gazed at each other until Sir Ebony whined and Darcy held the reins a bit firmer for the descent was steep.
What is it that she wishes, that I follow her or that I speak to Bingley on her sister’s behalf? I wish she would speak plainly… but then again I am also ambiguous, am I not?
Darcy decided instantly that he would speak very clearly with her... very soon.
“So tell me about Macworth Castle, Mr Darcy.” Elizabeth asked as they walked slowly among the ruins.
“Well not much is known about it unfortunately. As you can see the structuredates back from the fourteenth or fifteenth century. It was the home for several centuries of the Mackworth family; it was at some point reduced to the ruins we see now. Why? We do not know. But the gatehouse, which is the only building still partly standing suggests it may have been a grand old castle and strategically important in its heyday.”
They meandered through the ruins, while speculating about what might have happened there to uproot a family and leave their beloved home behind to crumble with the passing of time.
“But today it sits inside your lands. Do you know how that came about?”
“Pemberley and its boundaries as we see today have, for nearly three centuries, remained in the possession of my family. That it was first acquired by my ancestors is of no doubt; yet how Macworth Castle became part of it and by what means, or even from whose hands it was obtained, I cannot presume to say.”
Elizabeth nodded absentminded, “It makes me sad to see such a grand old structure left to ruins.”
“Well anything left unattended will eventually die and become ruins; castles as well as small houses, people and even relationships.” He mused.
“Yes as I have daily proof.”
Darcy frowned, “what do you mean?”
“Well I should not talk about it as it is very personal but... I trust you.” She looked to the distance to steady herself and then said quietly, “Jane and I have always maintained that only the deepest love would induce us into matrimony.” She looked at him and smiled sadly, “The reason for that is that we see every day what a marriage based on duty or comfort can do, not only to the couple but to all involved in it.”
Darcy said nothing and waited for her to elaborate. She seemed to be struggling with deep emotions for he realised this unburdening of whatever troubled her did not happen very often and he felt the privilege of listening to her.
“My father married my mother because he fell in love with her beauty. She was truly a lovely looking woman, which you can still see vestiges of to this day, even after her giving birth to five healthy children.”
“Yes I agree, Mrs Bennet is a very handsome woman.”
Elizabeth nodded and continued, “Unfortunately the love he felt for her was so shallow that it did not last beyond the first years of marriage. When he realised she was neither anintelligent nor witty woman, he became sarcastic and mean-spirited towards her, especially when they failed to produce an heir for the estate which, as you know, is entailed away from the female line.”
“It is hardly her fault.” Darcy said quietly.
“You are correct, but why is it that the burden to decide the sex of a child seems to sit squarely on the woman’s shoulders, when she has no more control over it than the man?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “Yes it must be very discouraging for any woman to see the disdain on her husband’s face when this happens. But in this instance with a well-educated man like your father, I expected better from him.” Darcy said with reproof in his voice.
“It must have been very difficult,” Elizabeth said, “for him when he realised all his dreams came to nothing. I cannot condemn him for that, but I can judge him on the treatment of his wife. We grew up watching him make fun of her, diminishing her even in the sight of her own children, while we, in our turn learned to despise her.”
Darcy walked beside her and watched her struggles. He felt like hugging her and consoling her as a tear escaped her beautiful eyes, but he had no right to do it... not yet.
“Had they truly loved each other with a deep and abiding love... well,” she sighed, “the marriage still exists but the relationship is gone. The affection that should hold them together through the tribulations of life is nonexistent. So he became a recluse; accustomed to hide inside his library seeking companionship with his books, and she became a nervous creature, seeking consolation in her daughters, trying to the best of her ability to provide a future for them by finding worthy marriages for each and all of them.”
Darcy again felt the shame of condemning Mrs Bennet for her actions in Hertfordshire. Had he been in her situation would he have behaved differently?
Confessing something so personal had cost Elizabeth a lot and as she unburdened herself tears fell from her beautiful eyes freely. Darcy’s heart squeezed in his chest as he struggled to find something meaningful to console her with, for he abhorred offering half-hearted nothings.
“I do not believe this will be your fate, Miss Bennet.”
She did not answer him.
He was so tempted to drop to one knee and confess undying love to this beautiful woman right there, who had the knack of taking his breath away every time he looked at her. But he resisted it. She needed more time and he needed to woo her properly... make her feel towards him as he felt towards her.
He smiled at her trying very hard to lighten her mood and fill her with confidence for the future, “I suspect when you do fall in love it will be once and for all, Miss Bennet, and I think the man in receipt of such love will indeed be the most fortunate among men.”
“You flatter me, Mr Darcy.” She exclaimed shyly.
