West Carrington.
I didn't know his name until now and I've got to say, West suits him.
“Well… it was an accident.”I am not helping myself here.
“How on earth do you accidentally give someone a handjob? Especially West. That guy is all business,” Phoenix says, and I look over at Shiloh, silently begging her to jump in and save me, or to set me on fire. I am happy with either. For the most part, my brothers and I are open books, but I draw the line at explaining my accidental sexual encounters with them. Shilohsquares the guys with a look, and Phoenix raises his arms to either side in surrender. “Hey, there’s no judgment here. West is a broody motherfucker, and I’m just curious about how the hell you managed to pull it off? Get it?” Phoenix says, and I open my mouth to respond, but Zane beats me to it, his tone calm and final.
“Leave Jovi alone,” is all he says as he hands everyone a plate of pizza.
We spend the rest of the evening laughing, drinking, and letting the night stretch on because none of us wants it to end. We vote on a movie, one we’ve seen about a dozen times, and by the time the credits roll, everyone is passed out. Soft breaths fill the room as bodies sprawl across pillows and blankets. I glance around at the empty glasses and pizza boxes forgotten on the coffee table, and stand, realizing that I drank way too much. Slowly, I start to clean up, careful not to disturb anyone.
I know I should probably try to get some sleep too, especially with the hangover I’m no doubt going to have at work tomorrow, but my mind won’t settle.
Axl’s words from earlier are playing on repeat in my head.Somewhere along the way, you stopped checking in with yourself.The truth of it stings more than I want to admit. But what would I do if I didn’t have work to keep me busy? What would tomorrow look like for me if I weren’t doingsomethingor trying to build Perfect Match Design…nothing?
“You don't have to do that.” A deep voice comes from behind me, and I swear my heart almost stops. I spin, pulse slamming asa sleepy Zane shuffles into the kitchen. His hair is tousled from sleep, and he carries the rest of the empty containers.
“Jesus!” I whisper-shout, pressing a hand to my chest. “You scared the shit out of me!” Zane smiles in response, stacking the trash on the bench before he snatches up the tea towel I dropped on the floor and takes over clean-up duty.
“What's got you up this late?” he says, yawning and turning to the sink. I hesitate, then lean back against the counter.
“Wasn't tired.”
He hums softly, not buying it but not calling me out either. After a moment, he breaks the silence.
“Theo?” I swallow and nod. Technically, I'm not lying. There's just so much more going on in my head.
“You know, you're so much like your mom,” he says, keeping his gaze fixed on the sink. Well, it’s not the first time somebody has told me that.
“You really think so?” I murmur, undoing my bun and letting my long hair tumble free. Zane shrugs, but there’s a softness in his voice now.
“You share the same energy.” He glances at me then, and for a moment, the kitchen feels a little smaller. He’s got that broody, take no shit thing going on these days, and I can see why people are intimidated by him sometimes.
“That a compliment?” I say with a raised brow, and he quietly chuckles.
“Of course, it’s a compliment.” He dries his hands and leans against the counter opposite me, staring at the floor. “Your mom took me in when I had no one. Loved me unconditionally, even though I basically led her sons astray.”
“You did not lead them astray, Zane. You know that.”
“No, you’re right. But she didn’t have to see it that way. God knows that for a while there, everybody else in town did. But your mom… she treated me like I was her own. There wasnever a time I felt like I wasn’t a part of your family, because to Rita Stone, family is everything.” We finish the last bit of that sentence at the same time, then share a gentle laugh, because it’s true. I know what Zane is trying to say without actually saying the words, and for some reason, that hits deeper.
“I don’t remember a time when she wasn’t busy or run off her feet. I remember trying to make life for her as easy as possible because Axl and Phoenix were handfuls for a while there. I guess I didn’t want to add to her burden.” My eyes meet his, and I’m surprised by how easily the words leave my mouth.
“I can see how that instinct to keep going, to take care of everyone else first, has followed you into adulthood,” he says, though his voice is devoid of judgment. Instead, I can only hear understanding there. Maybe I’m more of an open book than I thought.
“My life went to hell pretty quickly for someone who’s supposed to have their shit together.” We try to hold it back, but laughter bubbles out anyway.
“For what it’s worth,” he says, his voice his usual steady calm. “Some things really are out of our control. The trick is letting go of what no longer serves you, and welcoming the new. People make mistakes. Humans are flawed creatures. We don’t always get it right. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Fall seven times, stand up eight? They say you’ll never know who you truly are if you don’t step off the wheel.” I sit with that for a moment, thinking of all the times I avoided real opportunity out of fear of failure, and before I can tell Zane how right he is, or thank him for being there for me, for seeing me, even when I never asked, he changes the subject. “So tell me. Is West as big as everyone says he is?”
“Zane! Oh my god, you are incorrigible!” I shake my head, burying my face in my hands. “I am never going to live this down, am I?”
“Probably not,” he says casually.
“Gee, thanks. Let’s all laugh at Jovi and the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to her.”
“I don’t even want to know,” Zane says, leaning down to plant a quick peck on my cheek.
After a beat, I settle back onto the couch with my laptop, scrolling almost absentmindedly, deliberately avoiding my endless emails. I let the screen blur together until something finally makes me stop. A few clicks later, I’m hovering over dates and times, and before I can second-guess myself, I hit confirm. When the confirmation window pops up, I let out a slow, shaky breath, letting relief wash over me. I close the laptop before I do something stupid and back-track, and instead of the panic that would usually come with making a decision like this, I feel completely relaxed, and sink deeper into the couch.
