“I’m not good at this,” Theo admits, and neither West nor I interrupts. “I’ve spent my whole life pretending I was okay with living each day as it came without a single care for anyone else. I let everyone believe that there wasn’t much more than meets the eye with me because it was the only way to avoid people looking too hard. And I didn’t mean to use you, Jovi. I mean… I did. But I hate myself for it. ” His lips curve into a humorless smile. “And it turns out, I’m really good at lying.” My heart tightens because…use me?I don’t understand. I mean, he stayed at my apartment a lot, but nothing permanent. He’d been in between places, sure. But he’s never used me in that regard, at least I don’t think he did. And if what he says is true about Tamika, that he and her are just friends and that he didn’t actually cheat on me, then I don’t get it. He finally lifts his gaze, and when it meets mine, something inside clicks.
Oh my God.
I don’t know how I didn’t see it before but it makes perfect sense.
“It’s okay, Theo. Really,” I say, because I am so far beyond where I was with him it isn’t funny.
“I was so bad to you, Jovi,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “Not because you weren’t enough. Not because I didn’t care, because I did. Just not in the ways I should have. You and I worked for the most part. You were always busy somewhere and really, that suited me just fine and I’m a fucking asshole because I used that as an out. What I said wasn’t true and wasn’t cool. I need you to know that I’m sorry.”
West shifts beside us, his face tight with emotion. Part concern for me, part helpless worry for his son as he unravels in front of us. “I couldn’t be honest with anyone before I was honest with myself. Until I stopped running from the truth.” Theo’s fingers tremble slightly as he curls them into fists, his chest rising and falling as he squeezes his eyes shut.
“I’m gay.”
The words fall between us in a soft rush. Everything makes sense. The distance. All the moments together that always felt forced. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t feel like I had been the reason for all of that. But I wasn’t. Well, maybe I was. But I guess I understand how I would have been the perfect girl for him. Because I was never truly his. Not only did he almost never talk about me to anyone, according to Beau and Haze. But I never hung out with any of his friends, nothing. I was a label. A placeholder. And if I’m being honest, so was he. We weren’t each other’s great love. We were each other’s hiding place. For two very different reasons. And standing here now, watching him finally face his truth, I couldn’t be prouder. This is the first real thing we’ve ever shared.
For a moment, no one speaks. Which I’m learning is normal for these two. And when West breaks the silence, he takes a slow step toward Theo until he’s standing right in front of his son.
“Son,” West says quietly. Theo opens his eyes, and I can’t help but notice the strong resemblance. “You don’t ever have to hide. Not from me. Not from anyone, you got that?” West pulls him into a hug, the kind that makes you feel safe, seen and understood. Theo freezes for half a second before his forehead drops to West’s shoulder, his breath shuddering out of him like something inside has finally broken free. “I’ve got you,” West murmurs, and Theo’s eyes meet mine. I smile. Silently letting him know that there really isn't anything to forgive. I'm proud of him. He smiles in return, and I take this moment to slowly back away and head downstairs with the others, giving them the father and son alone time they deserve, especially after the distance they've had between them recently. West needs this. I think that Theo does too.
“Wow,” I say, walking across the living room and sinking onto the couch next to Haze. “My family sure knows how toget comfortable.” Haze chuckles, draping an arm around me and whatever weight and tension I was feeling immediately disappears with how warm he makes me.
“They’re a lot of fun,” he says, nodding in the direction of Beau and Axl, animatedly reenacting memories from back in high school. Shiloh appears out from behind us, balancing a tray of drinks in her hand, the other reaching out to brush her fingers through Zane’s hair.
“Girl, thank God. If you were up there any longer, I was going to stage an intervention. There's way too much testosterone in this room for my liking,” she says dramatically, before handing Haze and Zane a drink. She gestures, asking if I'd like one, and I nod.
“So, did he finally do it?” Haze whispers, nuzzling into my neck, breathing me in. Anyone would think I had been away from him too long.
“Do what?” I reply, not sure what he means.
“Come out.” I lean back, looking up at him in disbelief.
“How did you know?” A beat passes, and he looks over at Beau almost blankly.
“Theo reminds me of myself. I wasn't always sure of who I was either. Then one day, it hit me… and everything just fell into place.”
I process that for a minute. Beau and Haze had told me how it was for them in high school. When they realized they were in love with each other. And when my brothers hard-launched their relationship with Zane, it had been like an inspiration for them to be true to who they really are.
Love is complex. It isn't a line you follow. It's a tangle of chaos, joy, heartbreak… A storm that arrives sometimes uninvited, then lingers sometimes too long, and not long enough. It's beautiful. Magical. Weird. It teaches you to accept the things you cannot change and gives you the courage tochange the things you can in the same breath. I don't have all the answers, but there's one thing I am absolutely certain of, and that's that I love them.
Beau. Haze. West.
They're mine, and I am theirs. We’ll figure out what that looks like later. Because right now, the only thing that matters to me is happiness and showing them that I am all in.
No folding.
No backing out.
EPILOGUE
TWO YEARS LATER
JOVI
By the time I pull into the driveway, the sky is already slipping into dusk, painted in soft purples and oranges. I love this time of year. It's about the only time it's not unbearably cold. I switch off the engine, but I don’t get out right away. I just sit here. Staring. Because no matter how many times I drive past this place, whether I'm staring at a block of dirt or a half-built construction site surrounded by scaffolding, I’m still not prepared for how amazing it feels to see something I get to share with the people I love.
Our newly built house stands complete in front of me, like something pulled straight from my dreams. All warm timber and stone with towering beams and wide windows that reflect the afternoon sun. The log cabin design makes it feel both rugged and elegant. Like it belongs here, deep in the mountains and also in a luxury magazine, if I do say so myself. A wraparound porch stretches along the front, and I can't help but picture perfectmornings, quiet nights draped in blankets, tangled up in each other. Dutchess is going to love it.
This house isn't just a house to me. It's home and it promises the rest of my life.
