CHAPTER 1
JOVI
A HANDJOB IS A GOOD TRICK IF YOU CAN PULL IT OFF
Have you ever regretted something before the idea fully formed in your mind? Something so off-brand and out of character that no one you know, hell, not even a stranger would believe a single word if you told them about it?
Well, that's me right now. Walking a metaphorical tight-rope between a crazyex-girlfriendand the embarrassing follow-through of a plan I seem to be making up as I go along. All of which is a first for me and the last thing I need right now is to get all up in my head and back out of this. Even if what I am about to do is likely the craziest thing I’ll ever do in my life. This is spontaneous. And not being spontaneous is the whole reason my boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend—Theo broke up with me yesterday.
One minute, I was living my normal, semi-functional life, and the next, I’m reading a text message about a mile long listing all the reasons Theo Carrington finds me boring.
Yes. That’s right.
I’m dull.
He said I prioritized my work over our relationship, and didn’t seem to have time for him anymore. I mean, sure. I might be snowed under a mountain of new clients, starting your own business will do that to a girl, but he also said that I’m not fun anymore. Thatbusyisn’t sexy. I’d be lying if I said my pride wasn’t wounded. The worst part is, I thought that eventually he and I would take our relationship to the next level, and he'd take me up on my offer to move in with me.
Was the idea of that too boring for him?
Too predictable?
I suppose I’ll find out soon enough because I’m here to prove to Theo that he was wrong about me. I am spontaneous. Maybe a little crazy, but at least nothing about breaking into his and his father’s house, wearing underwear that could qualify as dental floss, saysdull. Yet, I regret the wardrobe choice. Lingerie over practicality was not my brightest move. Especially with how fucking cold it is.
I’m balancing on the window frame to the side of the house, and I’m painfully aware that I have all the right ingredients to make a damn spectacle of myself. If I were to be seen by literally anything with a pulse or lens in this town, I’d have to pack my shit, change my name and leave. Blue River thrives on two things. Tourism and gossip, and I’m practically serving myself to the rumor mill on a silver platter.
On that note, I decide that it’s probably better if I just get on with it before I lose my nerve. I hoist myself through the window, ignoring the rational part of my brain waving bright red flags, and climb in as fast as I can. Once inside, I spin around and close the window behind me, a little surprised that it wasn’t locked. Somebody could break in. I bite my lip nervously because that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Theo mentioned a few days ago that his dad was out of town for the week, and the only time he seems to stay here is when his dad is away. Theo is what one would call a couch surfer, which is one of the reasons why I offered for him to move in with me. I haven’t met his dad. Not because Theo didn’t want me to, but because I just haven’t had the time. I don’t know if there’s any animosity he might have towards his dad, but I offered anyway. It made sense to me. He’s twenty-six years old. I can’t imagine it feels fantastic still living with his father. A wave of guilt courses through me. I really have messed things up. Everything Theo said in his text, albeit hurtful, held a lot of truth to it. I realize now that even though we’ve been together a whole year, I haven’t been present for half of that. Not in the ways that I should have been.
Interior design isn’t all fabric swatches and cute little color-coded mood boards. It’s long nights, tight budgets, and wearing every damn hat in the business because I’m not in a position where I can afford an assistant yet.Busy isn’t sexy. I am here to show him that I’m willing to try to make things work between us. That I understand where he was coming from. After I remind him of what he’ll be missing out on if he walks away from me.
Turning, I let my eyes adjust to the darkness, grateful for the warmth that immediately hits my skin. It’s hard to tell what room I’m in, so I fish my phone out of my bra and flick on the flashlight, hovering it over the space in front of me so that I don’t trip over something and fall flat on my ass. I’ve never been here before. From the outside, it looks like your usual beautiful family home, but inside, the lines and textures are custom made, so damn unique in the soft light that I make a mental note to ask Theo who built it. I drag the light across the ornate carvings in the door frames, imagining all the ways I could rearrange or redecorate, then make my way upstairs to where I assume Theo is sleeping.
Moonlight shines through the windows, illuminating the hallway in soft, silver bands. Doors line either side, each one closed but I notice one at the very end is slightly ajar. That must be his room. A smile tugs at my lips as I pad toward it, pulse kicking up because this could go very, very bad for me. Either he orders me out of his house, or he pulls me in, kisses the breath out of my lungs, and proves that this ridiculous, reckless idea was the best one I’ve had since we started seeing each other.
I reach the door and push it open just enough to quietly slip inside, easing it closed behind me with a soft click. The room is huge. Bigger than half of the living space in my apartment and understanding hits me. Why would he want to leave this? Nothing about my small, two bedroom apartment could ever compete with something this fancy and I haven’t even turned the damn lights on yet. I flick off the light on my phone and place it on the small coffee table to the right of the room, relying only on the moonlight shining through the curtains.
Everything is quiet, and not the comforting, sleepy kind.The empty kind.My smile falters as my eyes adjust. The king-sized bed is perfectly made, and I have never known Theo to know how to hang a towel up when he’s finished with it, let alone make a bed.
This can’t be his room.
I turn toward the door just as it creaks softly, and I hold back a startled yelp and crouch behind the arm of the couch instinctively, hoping it’s enough to keep me from being seen. A large, masculine frame fills the doorway and I let out a quiet, relieved sigh when Theo walks into the room, closing the door behind him. He doesn’t bother turning the light on, and just when I’m about to stand and make myself known, I think better of it. He wants surprise. Wonder and desire. He wants sexy. So, I stay perfectly still and watch as his shadow casually stalks across the room.
Clouds cover the moon and the room grows darker, though the ruffling sound of fabric hitting the floor tells me he’s undressing. The thought of what I’m about to do sends a thrill straight through me, masking any nervousness I might have felt earlier.
Unhurried footsteps approach and I remain crouched, barely breathing at this point. God. What the fuck am I doing?No.I can’t back out of this. If I do, I’m exactly what he said I was and this all will have been for nothing. The couch dips as he sits, leather creaking faintly beneath his weight and I realize from the gentle clinking of ice against glass that he’s holding a drink. My chest tightens instantly, the thrill from earlier twisting into guilt at the thought of him sitting here alone with the weight of our breakup weighing him down. He exhales long and slow, and I rise before I can talk myself out of it. I swallow, grounding myself as I step around the back of the couch. His body is still, lost to his own thoughts as I bend down close, letting my hair brush his shoulder. My lips hover over the shell of his ear and I whisper.
“Miss me?” I murmur, my voice soft and teasing, and I let the words hang in the air just long enough to make him shift a little, his glass halfway to his lips. It’s too dark for me to tell what he might be thinking, but I take his silence as a sign to move along with the plan. He’s the one who let me go, but I unknowingly let him go long before he did, and I need him to know that I regret the part I played in that. I really do want to try with him.
The tension in his bare shoulders shifts as I trail my fingers lightly across his warm skin. He relaxes a little as the realization that I am here spreads across his shadow in quiet waves. His chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm as I pull my hand away and circle the couch. I can feel his gaze burning my skin through the darkness, lighting me on fire. The rush of adrenaline drives each careful step until I finally settle between his parted legs. Ikneel, reaching out to run my hands along his thighs and as he goes to speak, I lean in closer to interrupt.
“Don’t. You don’t have to say anything,” I whisper. “You already know why I’m here.” I hold his gaze, hoping he can feel all the things I can’t bring myself to say through the dark that separates the space between us. “I know what you’ve been missing,” I add as I trail my fingers up the skin of his muscular thighs and up to toy with his waistband. I let them linger long enough to make the meaning unmistakable before he leans back against the couch, granting me the permission I so desperately need to show him that breaking up is a mistake, and that I am sorry I wasn’t what he needed before. He raises his arms and laces them behind his head, settling back like he’s daring me to follow through with it.
His stare stays locked on me and I wish I could see the look in his eyes. I wish he could see the determination in mine as I reach past the waistband of his underwear, teasing the warm skin as I pull them down a little. He lifts slightly, letting me pull them down over his hips before I go in for the kill. I spit into my free hand and reach out to grip his cock, holding back a gasp as my fingers wrap around the hard, thick length and fuck. His cock… It feels… bigger than he was the last time we had sex. Has it been that long that I’ve forgotten what his penis feels like? I start to stroke, gliding my saliva across his swollen tip, then move down to the base.
“Fuuckk…” he groans and a slight smile teases the corner of my lips as he grows even harder in my palm.
“You like that? You like the way my hand feels stroking your big cock? Are you imagining what my mouth would feel like wrapped around it?” His heavy breathing fills the room as I continue stroking him, gliding my thumb across the tip and swirling his head with his pre-cum. I cup his heavy balls with my free hand, desperate to make him feel good, when the distantsound of a door slamming comes from somewhere, the hallway maybe? I don’t have time to pay it any mind as Theo starts to buck his hips into my palm, fucking my fist with such intensity that my pussy clenches, needing to feel him. He hasn't even touched me yet and I can feel myself dripping for him with each of his deep moans.
