He let his hand rest on my chest, his eyes looking down at me with only a hint of sympathy. “I’ve fought them before. The war with the Knives will probably claim my life someday, but I don’t think it will be now. That is not what worries me.”
“Then what does worry you?” I asked.
He held my gaze for a moment before he glanced around the Gathering, realizing that it’d been vacated by everyone. “I worry they’ll realize we’re somewhere on the lake…and they’ll return with their entire army to annihilate us.”
My heart dropped like a stone, and my hands flinched as I held on to his.
“I hope they did follow Caius. I hope they do come here. Because we need to kill them all before they can return to Wraith and tell him exactly where we are. He’ll march with all his forces and finish what he started.”
It wasn’t important, but I asked anyway. “Wraith?”
“The Sharpest Blade of the Knives.”
I swallowed and felt my hands grow weak and release his hold. “Then maybe we should flee to Stonework.”
“It’s too dangerous to leave right now, not when we don’t know whether they found our location or are still searching in the dark. We can’t make a rash decision out of fear and compromise our position unnecessarily.”
How was he so calm in all this? “Then what do we do?”
“We wait,” he said. “If they don’t attack within three days, they’ve either lost our trail or they’ve returned to Wraith to report our position. Then we’ll have to make a decision, to preemptively leave and avoid a possible attack, or hold our position and hope for the best. Let’s get through the next three days first before we consider those options.”
“How the fuck are you so calm right now?”
His eyes remained steady as they locked on my face.
“Because I can’t stop shaking.” I looked at my hands and watched them tremble beyond my control.
He grabbed both of my hands with his and brought them together, cocooning them in his hold. “Because you’re scared—and I am not.”
“How are you not scared?” I looked into those earth-toned eyes and saw a foundation harder than the earth, confidence higher than the biggest mountain.
He was quiet as he tried to find the answer. “Because it’s always been this way. There are moments of peace between chaos, but they’re brief and quickly forgotten when the bloodshed returns. But for me, I never forget the bloodshed. I’m always waiting for it. I’ve known since birth exactly how I will die—and it’ll be at the hands of Wraith or one of his Knives. Acceptance takes away fear.”
I started to breathe hard when I digested his words. “Please don’t say that to me.” A man I’d known so briefly had become my whole world. Had become my blue sky in this dark cavern.
“My world changed when you fell from the sky into my heart.”
My eyes started to ache as they produced tears.
“I’ve existed but never lived—until you.” His big hands engulfed mine. “The only life I fear for is yours. I will protect it to the best of my ability, forfeit mine to spare yours if need be. You’ve described the sun to me, and I see it every time I look at your face.”
The tears started to streak down my cheeks.
“You’ve given me hope that I’d long forgotten. You make me believe we’ll find a way to defeat these fiends that have taken so much from us. I feel no fear because I will eviscerate every single Knife that comes for us. I will not let them take this new hope that burns in my soul. The anger and vengeance within me are the sharpest blade and the strongest armor I could wear. I still feel no fear—but the reason I cease to feel it has changed.”
My hands left his and cupped his face. I rose on my tiptoes to kiss him, felt him bend his knees so he could accept my kiss. He circled my body with his arms and pulled me close, his hand cradling the back of my head.
When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead against mine. “I will stand on guard with the others. I need you to hide with the women.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“I speak to you as your chief, not your lover, not your friend.” He pulled away and stepped back. “Do as I say.”
I entered the Hall of Elders with the other women, everyone scared for what was to come. We all crammed together in the entryway and the common room where I’d spoken with Morco’s mother.
Allegra came to my side as we entered the common room, where the fires burned to create light. “Do you think they’ll come?”
I wouldn’t tell anyone what Morco had said, that an attack was the best outcome for us. She would panic just as I’d been panicking since he’d shared his thoughts. With no experience in battle, I didn’t know a good general when I saw one, but Morco seemed to have a brilliant mind for war. It would explain why they’d survived so long with almost nothing. “I don’t know.”
