“The caves—where the sciwards are.”
Her face paled slightly, like she was more afraid of those than the Knives. “If they reside in such proximity to one another, then perhaps there’s some kind of alliance there. Or the goblins know how to repel them.”
“Or they just never leave the cave.”
“But you’ve seen them, so they must leave for a reason.”
“This all seems farfetched to me.”
“Just as farfetched as winning a battle against fifteen hundred monsters that are bigger and taller than all of us.” Her voice strengthened as she pressed her opinions, like she was as invested in this battle as I was, when she didn’t have the same vengeance in her heart.
I wanted to win this battle more than anything, so I was willing to consider her ideas. “I’ll speak to the Elders tomorrow. Their counsel could be helpful.”
“We need to explore all options. It’s possible that the goblins hate the Knives as much as we do. Let’s hope that’s the case.”
I’d carried the burden of leadership alone since my mother had lost her sight. I became a man when I was still a boy. Life had been hard up until that moment, but it was never the same afterward. For the first time, I shared that load with someone else, someone who offered immense contribution. I’d never met such a woman, and that made me burn hotter.
Her passion had faded in the silence. “Does your father still live?”
Another story I’d rather not tell. “No.”
She read my look and let the subject dissolve in the air between us.
It was late and time to leave her cabin, but whenever I was with her, I didn’t want to go. With every conversation, I was more interested in her heart. And with every stare…I was more interested in her flesh too. “Tell me about the surface.”
Her eyes stilled as she absorbed the question. She seemed to pity me for asking it. “The sunlight is similar to theapricum, but it’s brighter and warm when it touches your skin. The sky is blue?—”
“Like the color of your eyes?”
“No. Much lighter, like…” She struggled to find a comparison and fell silent when she failed. “The air moves, so the outside always feels fresh. Only indoors does it feel stagnant, like it does down here. The lands of my kingdom are beautiful, flowersin bloom in the valleys everywhere, the castle perched on a low mountain. There are many things I can share, but they’re impossible to describe when this is all you’ve known.”
“What do you love most about it?”
She considered the question carefully. “The sunsets. My father and I used to watch them together on warm summer nights. The pastries the chefs used to make every morning, the croissants and scones. The song of birds on a spring morning.” Her eyes glazed over like she had been transported elsewhere. “The gardens at the castle…all the flowers and bushes and trees.” Her mind continued to drift in the waters of the past before it sharpened and came back to me.
I’d only felt gratitude that she’d ended up here, and for the first time, I felt pity. She’d lived a life of luxury in a beautiful castle, with wealth and power, her father the king. I suddenly felt inadequate, because I couldn’t give her those things. “I’m sorry that you’re here.” She’d been a blessing to me, but this place would always be a curse to her.
Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, either in confusion or surprise at what I’d said. Then they softened in a tone of sadness. “I’m not.”
The flush of heat was instantaneous, making me draw an involuntary breath I didn’t need when she knocked the wind out of me. My hands ached with desperation, and my mouth suddenly felt numb without her kiss to make it burn. I was even more aware of the swell of her breasts under her clothing, the toned shape of her legs in her trousers. The girls had sewn her better clothes once she’d been accepted, and the outline of her curves had driven me crazy ever since.
I’d never wanted a woman more, and I knew it was because I wanted more than her flesh, but her soul underneath. I wished I weren’t going to be her first so I didn’t have to handle this situation with such sensitivity, but I also yearned to be her first. “I should go.” I forced the words out of an uncooperative mouth, broke my gaze from hers because those eyes made me so volatile. Without waiting for her reaction, I left the chair and turned toward the door, trying to cut a connection that was harder than the stone of the fireplace.
She left her chair and came up behind me. “Morco.”
I kept my back to her, knowing whatever she was about to say would make this worse.
“I want you to stay.”
I clenched my eyes the way I clenched my fists, the most extravagant meal dangled in front of a starving wolf.
She moved her hand to the back of my arm. I could feel her fingers flinch at the touch, as if she felt something when we made contact. Then she gently grabbed me, stroked my muscles with her fingertips. “The maids would sneak their lovers into their quarters. My father would do the same with his mistresses. Sometimes I would see lovers come into the garden at night to make love under the stars. I want that too…and I want it with you.”
It was the first time in my life I felt bumps over my arms, and it wasn’t because I was cold. I turned back to her, my head tilted down to meet her gaze below. “As do I. But you’re pure and innocent, and it feels wrong to claim your lands in my name when I haven’t earned it.”
“It’s not something you earn. It’s something you’re given, and I get to choose when to give it.”
It was the most arousing moment of my life, and we were both fully clothed. But my honor bound me in place, my respect for her infallible.
