When I felt uncomfortable with my own stare, I focused on the dark lake ahead, the torches burning without a flicker because the air was always so static down here. I was still as a statue as time passed, and once hours had gone by, Caius was the first to stir. He blinked several times before he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. His eyes found mine—and then Hanne nestled into my side.
He didn’t say anything, just gave an obnoxious, knowing smirk.
Liam woke up shortly afterward, but he didn’t stare like Caius had.
I knew it was my turn to sleep, so I tilted my head back against the rock, ignored Hanne’s weight, and drifted off effortlessly. Relaxing in a vulnerable position should be impossible, but after years of scouting and recovery missions, I’d gotten used to it. And if I were to be honest…I wouldn’t care if something did happen to me.
When I woke up, Hanne wasn’t against me.
She’d moved to another part of the rock and avoided my gaze, as if that would undo what had happened.
I rose to my feet. “You know the drill.” I grabbed the torches and extinguished them both, erasing our features from sight and letting the darkness swallow them whole.
“I’ll take the lead,” I said into the blackness. “Hanne, you’re behind me.” I spoke into the dark, my hand not even visible in front of my face. For something that had no substance, the darkness felt so physical when it surrounded me like this.
“I—I can’t see.”
The guys could hear me, and she could too, but she had too much anxiety and fear to focus on that. I sympathized with her because I would never forget the first morning I woke up without theapricum—when I realized darkness was our new reality.
In silence, I reached for her arm and then slowly slid my hand down until I found hers. Her hand was petite and warm, and my fingers grazed her skin before I cupped her hand in mine and encased it with a strong grip.
She didn’t speak but reacted with a distinctive breath.
I took the lead, her hand in mine, and headed toward the forest we’d explored before. Without sight, I knew the direction we were headed just by the sound of the water, feeling the cooler temperature from the lake on my left.
We were careful with our steps, careful not to drag our boots against the earth, moving silently so as not to attract the coyotes. We still had more meat than we needed, and more death was unnecessary. Even though they’d tried to kill me and feed me to their pups, we were the same, both of us trying to survive this cold and dark place. It wasn’t personal.
I knew we’d made it to the forest when the brush moved around my boots. Firefly petunia became visible, the flowers glowing and illuminating the bases of the trees that were concentrated in the forest.
I released Hanne’s hand, but it took a second for her to let me go.
She walked ahead and began her search in silence, removing the small digging tools she’d taken from our base from her pack before she began her work. In silence, she moved from spot to spot, searching for more of the root vegetables that had thickened our stew.
Liam and Caius watched her so they could learn themselves. We wouldn’t have to rely on Hanne for every retrieval—something I was sure she would appreciate. She was brave to come out here again, adapting to a harsh world so different from her own. Even if she needed my presence to feel safe, she was still here, putting her life on the line for people who didn’t accept her.
She finally came across something. I could tell by the way her movements quickened as she dug through the dirt. Sheeventually removed a batch of potatoes, and she handed one to Caius before she guided his hands over the leaves, like she wanted him to understand what to look for on the surface.
We added the potatoes to one of the packs and kept moving, getting deeper into the forest than last time. The three of us all carried packs, so we would be able to take a lot more back to the island. I wasn’t sure how long these types of vegetables would last, but their rough exteriors and hardiness told me they wouldn’t spoil nearly as quickly as meat.
In silence, we worked for hours, Hanne finding more potatoes and carrots, and then eventually something new. She pulled up a bulb of some kind, different from the carrots and the potatoes in shape. This time, she didn’t react to the find or whisper its name. She just added it to the packs and continued her search.
Once our packs were full and heavy, I grabbed her wrist and gave it a squeeze to get her attention.
She looked at me over the glow of the flowers, her face cast in a bluish tint. Bright like theapricumitself, her eyes seemed to possess their own light.
I gave her a nod, silently telling her it was time to go.
She nodded in return like she understood.
We all stood and headed back the way we’d come. I kept her in front of me in case she accidentally got lost in the trees. When we left the last of the trees and stepped into the darkness, I reached for her hand, but she reached for mine first.
She gave it a squeeze and walked directly beside me, using it like a lifeline.
I felt the lake to my right, noticed the change in the terrain under my boots, the moisture that hadn’t been there before. Once I deemed we were far enough away from the forest inhabited by creatures as hungry as us, I released her hand and lit my torch.
Caius lit his.
We returned the way we’d come, Caius and I taking the lead as we carried the light.
