Her eyes were so intense when she didn’t even try, a blue so unique I didn’t have the words to describe it. She seemed to look different in every light, in every circumstance. Her hair was unusual too, somewhere between blond and brunette, her features so unique they stood out from everyone else’s. “It’s the least I can do…for what you did for me.”
I sat with my mother in front of the fire, my eyes on a different spot in the room because it was just easier. My pain never disappeared, just faded in her absence and then flared in her presence.
“Root vegetables,” she said, testing out the words on her tongue.
“Dinner will probably be served late because of the amount of meat that needs to be prepared. But the potatoes and carrots will be in the stew, so you’ll try them then. Hanne describes them as hearty and filling.”
She gave a slight nod. “Morco, growing food without light would change our lives.”
“I know.” My eyes stayed elsewhere, her face a blur in my peripheral. Sometimes my mind played tricks on me and she had eyes again, brilliant green. It was just easier to pretend.
“You’re lucky those coyotes didn’t kill you.”
“Yes.” It had been reckless, but I didn’t care. I was tired of watching my people wither away, watching them snap at the slightest conflict because they were persistently uncomfortable. I hid it better than most because I rarely spoke.
“But we will eat well for the next week,” she said. “There will be plenty for everyone since we need to eat it all before it turns rancid.”
“Yes.”
She turned her head slightly, to where she thought I was seated, but she was slightly off. “I’m at odds. I want my son to live, but I want my people to survive. I don’t want my only child to risk himself needlessly, but as the leader of our people, it is your duty. Please know how proud I am of you.”
I closed my eyes as I silently rejected the praise. “Thank you, Mother.” I kept my eyes closed, pushing away the thoughts that always intruded, despite the fort I built around my mind. If they didn’t come during the day, they came at night and haunted me in my slumber.
“Hanne has earned her place here.”
I opened my eyes again, and that was when I realized my chin had dropped and I looked at my mother’s knee. “She has. There was a moment when she could have left me to fight the coyotes alone, but she stayed.”
“Is she skilled in the blade?”
“Not like me. I would describe her skills as amateur, but her courage exemplary.”
“What does she seek?”
“She wishes to return to the surface. I told her that wasn’t possible.” She gave no reaction to the news, but her devastation was loud in her silence.
“To be pushed into the chasm and damned to darkness is a harsh punishment. What did she do to warrant such a sentence?”
“I didn’t ask.”
“You should, Morco. We need to know her character if she’s to live among us.”
“She’s proven her character as far as I’m concerned.”
My mother was quiet, but she somehow communicated her disapproval. It was a change in her mouth, a tightness in her cheeks.
“If she was exiled for being a ruthless killer, then she’s the perfect addition to our ranks. Whatever her crime, it matters not, not when she’s powerless in this new place. I will ask her when the time is right, but she could easily lie and hide her treason. And remember that we were banished to the Depths long ago, and I doubt it was warranted.”
She absorbed all that in silence. “She’s earned your loyalty—but she’s still a stranger.”
“She saved us from starvation. Loyalty is a fair price to pay.”
Another stretch of silence followed. It was hard to know what she was thinking when her emotions couldn’t dance on the surface of her eyes like everyone else. “I want to see her. Be my eyes and describe her appearance.”
It was a simple request, in theory, but a hard ask for someone like me. “She’s a small woman, significantly shorter than me, shorter than most of the women who remain in the tribe. But despite her limitations in height, her eyes still meet mine. She survived a fall that would have broken another. She followed my tracks when someone else would have gotten lost. She wears avulnerability that others would hide, a truth and transparency that remind me of the clear waters of the Raven River that runs by our kingdom. Her hair is neither blond nor brunette, somewhere in between, a combination of both. In the light of the torch, it’s bright like theapricum, but in the dark, it’s the color of earth. And her eyes…” I hesitated when I faltered in my description, tripping over my own insensitivity.
“Tell me about her eyes, Morco.” Her voice hardened because she despised pity the same way she despised betrayal and treason.
I worked my jaw and clenched my fist on my knee, hating myself for the thoughtless transgression. “They’re blue in nature, but a hue unlike any I’ve ever seen. Deep and rich in color, so distinct I can’t find the words to describe them. A color such as that doesn’t exist anywhere in this place. They exude intelligence, fear, and bravery all at the same time.” I swallowed, thinking about the rest of the features I hadn’t even gotten to yet. “A slender face with prominent cheekbones, eyes that are wide and knowing, fair skin with small freckles you wouldn’t notice until you were close. She looks like an easy opponent in battle, but I think that’s where her strength comes from, in the way people must underestimate her. The coyotes focused on me more than her, and when they tried to sneak up on me, she burned their faces with the flames of the torch. She doesn’t hesitate to do what is necessary to survive. And despite this darkness and this hunger, not once have I heard her complain.”
