‘All done.’ I closed the book before she could see what I’d written. ‘Thanks, Val.’
‘What are you going to do now?’ she asked.
‘Now I’m going to leave it in Finn’s cubbyhole and hope he replies,’ I said.
Chapter 28
Elsie
1941
I wished Nelly was with me as I got ready to go to the hospital the next day. I wished it so hard it almost hurt. I thought about the times we’d got ready for dances together, Nelly choosing her lipstick according to which would stay strong with all the drinks she intended to sip, and men she intended to kiss. Not worrying about getting home before the sirens went off. Billy coming to meet us from the hall, teasing us about which fellas we’d been dancing with, and walking us home safely afterwards.
For the thousandth time I marvelled at how quickly and how totally life could change. Now I was down to my last tiny sliver of lipstick, and Nelly had no use for the cherry red Yardley I’d bought her for Christmas. I had no one to see me home because Billy was gone, and I was getting ready alone because Nelly was so ill.
And, I wasn’t going dancing, of course. I was going to work. Sort of.
A little shiver of excitement ran through me as I brushed myhair to make it shine. I was going to see Harry. Just him and me. And even if this romance – was it even a romance? – came to nothing, then at least we’d given it a go. Taken a chance. The war had taught me many things, but living each day as if it were my last was possibly the most important lesson of all.
Even though we were meeting in a dusty old room in the basement, I didn’t want to meet Harry in my uniform with my face bare and my hair pulled back. So I packed a bag neatly with my clothes for later, and a cloth so I could wash my face before I started my shift. Matron did not look kindly on nurses who wore makeup on to the ward.
Then I put on my best dress. I’d had it since before the war, and it had a pretty flowered pattern. I liked how it swished around my knees.
But when I checked my reflection I thought I looked fine for a dance or a party, but not for walking through the streets of South London in the middle of the afternoon.
So I pulled it off again and put on skirt and a sweater because though I wanted to look nice, I didn’t want to look like I’d tried too hard. Goodness this was difficult.
‘Oh Nelly,’ I said aloud, looking at my reflection as I rubbed the end of my kohl pencil along my eyelid. ‘It’s so typical of you to desert me in my hour of need.’
Makeup done, I gave myself a last look in the mirror, put on my coat and hat, picked up my bag and headed out of the door.
I was nervous about how I was going to make it to the basement without being spotted. I thought if anyone saw me, I’d say I was taking a message to theatre. And me not being in uniform wouldn’t matter because I could just tell everyone I was visiting Nelly. But I still felt worried. I wasn’t even sure Harry would be there. I’d look a right lemon if he didn’t show up, I thought, as I walked towards the station. I didn’t know if he would want to come. Or if Jackson would have delivered the book as I’d asked.
I stopped walking suddenly. What if Jackson showed up andHarry didn’t? What if he’d intercepted my message and would be waiting for me instead?
My breathing quickened, making little puffs of cloudy air in front of me. Surely that was impossible? He had no way of knowing I’d written that note, nor that the note was even there. Despite the uncomfortable way he made me feel, I didn’t think he was a bad man. Not really. Not deep down. Did I?
‘It’s fine,’ I muttered to myself firmly. ‘It’s fine.’ I would check the boiler room first, before I went inside, I thought. There was a little window on the door to let in light. I’d peek through there and make sure Harry was inside before I went in.
Feeling more certain, I climbed the stairs to the station platform.
*
I got through the hospital corridors without seeing anyone I knew – everyone was so busy all the time that they were dashing around all over the place and no one noticed me heading downstairs.
I walked along the hall to the boiler room feeling half excited, half scared. I stopped for a second to gather myself, and then peeked through the little window.
To my utter relief and delight, I saw that Harry was there. He was wearing his uniform trousers and a loose white vest and he looked just as nervous as I felt.
I took a deep breath and opened the door, feeling every one of my nerves vanish as soon as he turned and smiled at me.
‘Elsie,’ he said. ‘You came.’
‘I was worried you’d not be here,’ I told him, fighting the urge to run to him and throw myself into his arms because this was really the first time we’d met properly. ‘But here you are.’
‘Here I am.’
We both stood a little way apart from each other. I felt a bit awkward suddenly, not sure what to do or say.
