‘Unless you were at Dunkirk, then I very much doubt that.’
My sharp tone didn’t seem to bother Jackson in the slightest. ‘The last thing he said to me.’
‘What?’
‘He was here, actually. Or maybe a little bit further down the road, more towards the bus stop …’
I glared at him and this time he did understand. ‘Anyway, he was going to catch the train, and he was in uniform, all smart, with his kit bag on his shoulder. And I said was he going to the war, and he said yes, and I wished him luck and he said thank you, and then I said I’d look after you for him, and he said I’d better.’ He took a deep breath and looked at me, triumphant. ‘And then he got on the train.’
The train. I glanced round and with relief, saw the smokeof the approaching engine. ‘I have to go,’ I said to Jackson. ‘My train is coming.’
I hitched my bag further up my shoulder and took to my heels, running down the street in a most unladylike fashion to the station. I got to the platform and straightaway the train pulled in. I hurried aboard, slamming the door shut behind me and slumping on to an empty seat. How dare Jackson lay claim to my brother’s final words? I thought. I wiped my clammy brow and leaned forward to open the window as the train chugged across the bridge over the road. Down below I saw Jackson standing where I’d left him, shielding his eyes from the low autumn sun and scanning the carriages, clearly looking for me.
I shrank back into my seat, for some reason not wanting him to spot me. And then I chided myself. He was being nice, I told myself. He was just lonely. After all, there weren’t many men his age around now, his parents had moved away shortly after war was declared, and I knew he didn’t have siblings. Perhaps we had more in common than I liked to think. I should be kinder to him. More understanding.
I leaned my head against the firm seat back and closed my eyes, thinking about Billy. I wondered for the hundredth time what his final thoughts had been. If he’d said any last words. Had he been scared, I wondered, when the German bomb landed on the beach as he was waiting to escape? Or had he not had a chance to be frightened before the darkness took him? I’d had a letter from his commanding officer, but he’d not been with Billy when he died. He simply said he’d been a fine young man and a credit to his fellow soldiers. It was true, I was sure. Billy was a hard worker. Brave and steady.
But I remembered how frightened he’d been when our mother died, a few years ago. How for a minute, his stoic expression had dissolved and his eyes had filled with tears. Back then, I’d put my arms round him and promised him we were a team and that he’d be all right because he had me by his side. I couldn’t bearthe thought of him being scared in France, looking out to sea as the little boats came to their rescue and feeling hopeful, not knowing what was round the corner. Or worse, bleeding and in pain, frightened and all alone. I sighed. I would never know what was in his head when he died, and I was going to have to come to terms with that.
Chapter 2
Sometimes I looked back at when I’d started nursing, before the war began, and marvelled at how I ever thought it was difficult, or tiring, or that shifts were busy when we had five beds on each ward and they were all full. Because it was a different kettle of fish now and no mistake.
I always felt tense when I was getting ready to start a night shift. I could feel my jaw clenching and my shoulders tightening, as I prepared myself for what the evening would bring. Today I felt even worse. I was unsettled by bumping into Jackson and I felt a bit off kilter.
Nelly and I worked on different wards, but I was hoping to see her before our shifts began, after I’d finished sorting out the blankets.
Sure enough she was in the cloakroom when I had delivered all the bedclothes to the right wards and had gone in search of a clean apron before we started work properly. She was looking much livelier than she had earlier.
‘You look better,’ I said.
‘Amazing what forty winks can do for a girl,’ she said. She opened her locker and pulled out a mirrored compact, checking her reflection.
‘Is Dr Barnet working tonight?’ I teased, as she pinched her cheeks to make them glow.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ She shut her compact with a snap and gave me a wink.
‘Then you won’t be interested in the dance at the Pig and Whistle,’ I said, turning away from her. ‘Never mind, I’ll find someone else to go with.’
Nelly shot out her arm to stop me leaving. ‘You wait a minute, Elsie Watson. What’s this about a dance?’
‘There’s an advert on the noticeboard in the nurses’ accommodation,’ I said. ‘I saw it when I was looking for blankets.’
‘You’re stealing blankets from your fellow nurses now are you?’ Nelly shook her head sadly. ‘Sure that’s terrible.’
I nudged her, laughing. ‘Do you want to hear about the dance, or not?’
‘I do.’
‘It’s on Friday week.’
Nelly’s eyes gleamed. ‘We’re off.’
I nodded with enthusiasm. ‘Exactly. It’s downstairs at the Pig and Whistle – you know, the big pub on the main road? It’s got a huge cellar apparently and they’ve done it all up for dances. There’s going to be a band playing.’
Nelly’s eyes lit up. ‘And will there be soldiers?’
‘Undoubtedly.’
