‘The operating theatre?’
He snorted. ‘No,’ he said. ‘The boiler room. I know you know where that is.’
Suddenly the hospital felt very cold. I wrapped my arms around myself as we walked down the stairs, hunching over like an old woman. I wondered if Matron would be concerned about where I was or if she’d think I was still waiting for the buses.
‘Hurry up,’ Jackson said, nudging me again. ‘Stop dragging your feet.’
‘I have to go and meet the buses,’ I said pathetically. Jackson ignored me.
We got to the boiler room and Jackson opened the door. No one was around – everyone was getting ready for the arrival of the new patients. He herded me inside and shut the door behind us. For a second he just looked at me. I hung my head, because I didn’t want to see his face.
‘Oh, Elsie,’ he said. ‘You really have been up to all sorts, haven’t you?’
Now I looked up. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘I think you do.’
I didn’t reply.
‘Billy would be horrified by your behaviour,’ he went on. He sounded agitated and that scared me even more than his calm defiance. ‘And I hold myself responsible too, you know. I took my eye off the ball, and look what happened? But I can make things right again. Make everything better.’
‘It’s fine, Jackson,’ I said, trying to placate him. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong.’
‘No. But you have.’
‘I haven’t.’ I shook my head but I couldn’t help thinking I sounded unconvincing. ‘I’ve not done anything wrong.’
‘You killed Nelly.’
The bluntness of his accusation stunned me. I took a step back further into the boiler room, my hand over my mouth.
‘I didn’t.’
‘I watched you do it,’ he said. ‘You took a syringe and you injected her. And I know you’re not her nurse because you don’t work on that ward. And I know you killed her because I read it in here.’
He brandished the book in my face and I shrank back even further, trying to get away from him.
‘And that’s not all.’
I opened my mouth but no words came out. I felt clammy with fear.
‘I saw you in here,’ Jackson went on. He took another step towards me and I retreated. ‘I saw you in here with a man.’
I stared at him in absolute horror. He had been watching me all the time. Everything I’d done. Everything Harry and I had done. He’d seen it all.
‘I saw you and him together,’ he said. He stepped towards me again and this time when I walked backwards, I hit the wall. I pushed my back against the cold bricks, wishing I could disappear through them. Jackson wasn’t in a hurry. He carefully put the book down on a table that was at one side of the small room and came towards me. I felt his breath hot against my cheek. ‘I saw you kissing,’ he said. ‘I saw him unbutton your dress. And I saw you …’
‘Stop it,’ I almost shouted, wondering if I could make a grab for the book. ‘Stop this. You’re mistaken.’
Jackson put his hand on my cheek. ‘I’m not mistaken,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘You’re ruined, Elsie. Damaged goods.’ He put his face right up to mine and I saw some spittle on his lips. ‘You’re a slut.’
I was crying now and he wiped away my tears with a thick thumb.
‘Don’t get upset. I can help you.’
‘No.’
‘We’ll get married.’
