‘Thanks to Elsie.’
‘Talking of Elsie, how’s that gorgeous Finn?’
‘Ah.’
‘Ah?’ She looked at me through narrowed eyes. ‘What does “ah” mean? I don’t like the sound of that “ah”.’
I put my head into my hands. ‘We broke up.’
‘What? You’d barely gotten started.’
‘I know.’
‘What did you do?’
I thought about lying and saying it wasn’t me, but Tara was looking at me in the way she had that made me admit everything I’d ever done wrong, so I said: ‘He was in an accident and I couldn’t handle it. Not after all the stuff with Max. I know I’m pathetic but it just felt like it was too soon.’
‘Is he okay?’
‘Yes.’ I groaned. ‘I think so.’
‘I don’t get it, Stevie. Why did you break up with him?’
I looked up at the ceiling. ‘Because I like him too much,’ I muttered. ‘And I was scared it was all going to go wrong.’
‘Oh, honey.’ Tara gave me a friendly and slightly despairing nudge.
‘I know. I’m an idiot. But I was so scared, Tara. The police came to my flat and it was just like …’
‘Like when Max stole your stuff?’ She sounded sympathetic and that made me want to cry. I pinched my lips together and nodded.
‘What happened with Max was terrible,’ Tara said carefully. ‘But you can’t live your life worrying things are always going to go wrong, Stevie. That’s no life at all.’
‘It’s too scary,’ I whispered.
‘I know.’ She smoothed a strand of my hair off my face. ‘But all the good stuff is a little bit scary. I was terrified when I first came to London. More so when I opened this place.’ She looked round. ‘I’m still a bit scared about it actually.’
I gave a little laugh. ‘God, Tara. How are you so wise?’
‘Because I’ve been a bartender my whole adult life and I’ve heard a lot of people’s problems,’ she said with a grin. ‘How was Finn when you saw him?’
‘I’ve not seen him.’ I winced. ‘He cleared his stuff out of Tall Trees.’
‘All of it?’
‘Pretty much. Except for Elsie’s book. I was going to give it back but he’d left already.’
‘So you have it still?’
‘I do.’
Tara gave a knowing nod. ‘Because Finn is a good guy and he knows you need it for your project.’
‘Ah,’ I said.
‘No, not another “ah”. What now?’
‘I’m thinking of pulling out of the project.’
