I took the book and walked along the hallway to leave it in Finn’s cubbyhole, passing Helen on the way.
‘Still doing that, are you?’ she said. ‘My mammy always said there was no point flogging a dead horse. I thought everyone would have lost interest by now.’
‘Everyone’s on board,’ I said airily, though I’d been so excited about Finn’s message that I hadn’t checked to see who else had written. ‘It’s going very well, thank you.’
‘Humph,’ said Helen, striding past me towards her room at such a pace that I was reminded again how fit and active she seemed compared to some of our residents.
Refusing to let her grumpy demeanour ruin my good mood, I hurried off to leave the book for Finn. If I was quick, I’d have time to pop in and have a cup of tea with Nan before I had to go and get Val ready for bed.
Chapter 30
Elsie
1941
Harry had gone. He’d gone back to Biggin Hill and though it was just a few miles down the road, he may as well have been in France or in Russia or on the moon. He’d been gone for seventeen days and each one seemed longer than the one before. I’d written to him, and he’d replied, but while our letters had seemed thrilling at first, before we’d spent proper time together, now they seemed a poor substitute for being in his arms.
And Nelly was in a very bad way. They’d given her another saline bath, because they were worried about her burns becoming infected. But it had been so painful, I’d heard her unearthly moans echoing down the corridor as I walked along with a patient. The sound had made my blood run cold. The pain of the bath had sent Nelly’s body into shock. The doctors had sedated her heavily – like they had when she was first injured. She’d been kept asleep for more than a week, and though I went to visit, of course, I missed her so much. I felt totally alone.
I even missed Mrs Gold, who seemed to be working every hour of the day and night and wasn’t around much. When our paths did cross I didn’t feel much like chatting because all I could think about was Nelly and how awful it was to know she was suffering in such a horrible way.
Of course the one person I didn’t get the chance to miss was Jackson. He was everywhere. He was working the same shift pattern as I was, so he was at work when I was at work and he was always there to walk me home, or to take the same train as me.
I tried leaving home early or late, I tried taking the bus, I tried everything I could to avoid him, but he would always track me down. He was always there. It was odd that I’d never had so much company – unwanted though it was – and I’d never felt so very alone.
I was grateful when I switched to night shifts again, for I knew we’d be rushed off our feet, and I hoped that being so busy would mean I had less time to fret over Nelly and to miss Harry.
I left for my shift very early, partly to avoid Jackson and partly to visit Nelly. I was worried about her and another good thing about working nights was that I could see her during the day. Her sedation had been gradually reduced and I hoped that today she’d be more awake. I planned to find the book and take it to show her – she seemed to like hearing the messages that people had written and had particularly loved the pictures drawn by the children. If she was up to it, I wanted to see if we could “chat” some more using the alphabet, too.
Of course, I couldn’t find the book. Someone told me it had been on ward 10, so I went there, but the nurses there said it had been taken down to the theatre because someone had specifically requested it. I felt nervy when I didn’t know where the book was. I knew I had been taking a risk to write such personal messages to Harry. I’d even thought about tearing those pages out, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it.
I went all the way down to the basement only to find that ithad gone somewhere else with one of the doctors. I decided that I didn’t have enough time to track it down, so I’d visit Nelly first. But actually, when I arrived at her ward, she was with the doctors and I couldn’t go in to her room. Instead I peeked through the door, trying to see what was going on.
Her usual doctor was there, and so were two others and a nurse, too. I was glad there was a nurse there because I knew some of the doctors tended to talk about patients as if they couldn’t hear and I thought the nurse would stop that happening.
‘Three of them?’ I said to one of the nurses nearby. ‘Is that good or bad?’
She made a face. ‘I’ve never seen those other two before. They’re from a different hospital, I think. Doctor Gilligan wanted a second opinion.’
‘Are they moving her?’ I was worried about that. I really wasn’t sure Nelly would stand up to a journey.
But the nurse shook her head. ‘She’s not stable. I don’t think she’d make it. You ask me, she’d not make it out the front door of the hospital.’ Her eyes widened as she remembered I was Nelly’s friend and not just another nurse. ‘Sorry, forgot she was your mate.’
‘She’s very ill – I understand that.’ I swallowed. ‘She’s getting worse, isn’t she?’
‘It’s not good,’ the nurse admitted. Though then she shrugged. ‘But she’s still here.’
I nodded, as the door to Nelly’s room opened and the doctors and the nurse came out. They all looked grave and my stomach gave an unpleasant lurch as I took in their expressions.
‘Doctor?’ I said. ‘Can I …?’
Doctor Gilligan held his finger up to me, letting me know to give him a minute. The nurse who had been in the room with him rolled her eyes at me, and went off to file the notes she was holding.
‘Appreciate you coming down,’ the doctor said to the othermen, slapping one of them on the back. ‘George, just shout if you need me to repay the favour, won’t you? Love to Erica and the children. And Marcus …’ He shook the other’s hand vigorously. ‘Great to meet you at last. Let’s hope the blasted Army get rid of that anti-aircraft gun soon and let us back on the golf course, eh?’
I watched their exchange, thinking that men spoke a different language to women, even though we were all using English.
The other men went off down the hall, and Doctor Gilligan turned to me. ‘Nurse,’ he said.
