“Not really. I mean, he flirts with me like he does with half the country. But I’m not into the hit-and-go lifestyle. He knows that.”
“Maybe that’s why he’s different. Raw and honest. Because he knows you’re not playing games. He doesn’t have to pretend, you know?” Norah said casually.
“Pretend? Why does he need to pretend?”
“Why does anyone? We all pretend sometimes, usually, to protect ourselves from something. In Luke’s case, he’s so afraid that he’d eventually end up as miserable as his parents, he’s nipping it in the bud.”
I don’t want a relationship, and I don’t need one.
I don’t need a person in my life to spend half of my income and tell me that I should drink less caffeine.
Luke’s words replayed in my head. Something inside me cracked. As if I didn’t know it already. One-night stands were all he could offer. Even though he was great, and funny, and interesting, and...
“But people change,” Norah interrupted my train of thought, trying to... I don’t even know what. Tell me not to lose hope? Tell me that I could change him? That wasn’t my responsibility. You couldn’t change people if they didn’t want to. I’d learned that the hard way, and I wasn’t going to fall for it again.
I nodded, grateful for my sunglasses.
“But whatever you feel in your heart, you’re right—Lukeisa great guy,” Norah said with a smile, leaning closer. Her voice softened as she added, “That’s why we’re so happy he invited you here. Maybe you’ll be able to show him he’s more than what he lets others see. Maybe he’ll believe you.”
Her words lingered, as if she’d placed something fragile in my hands. This whole talk was a dangerous territory for me. It made me feel things for Luke I wasn’t prepared to feel.
Because even if he let his guard down and believed this could go somewhere, who’s to say he’d ever think I was worth the effort it would take to climb over the walls I’d built around myself?
24
Luke
After a long day of balloon searching and shopping, I stumbled through the gate and was greeted by a pleasant sight. Norah was painting Hazel’s toenails. She appeared to be the embodiment of happiness. Just how I liked to see her.
When I spoke with the girls this morning, I made it clear that I expected Hazel to be pampered until she was sick of it. And if she resisted, they were to threaten her with more food and compliments. Clearly, it worked. She looked beautiful and carefree, all smiling and giggling. It tugged at some strings of my no-commitment heart. Hazel—safe and happy, making friends and not feeling guilty. Pretending I didn’t enjoy it was getting harder.
A flash of a tall man standing in front of Hazel, uncomfortably close, crossed my mind. Jackson. My blood started boiling as his name entered my thoughts again. Yesterday, I’d kept my anger in check, but I was this close to making arrangements with a few people back home so the douche would learn his place. Which was away from her.
But, as horrible as last night was, the feeling of her body against mine this morning was something I didn’t expect. And more importantly, she let me take care of her, let me hold some of her weight. That trust, however fleeting, was worth more than anything I could have asked for.
“Everything went well?” Norah joined me in the kitchen.
“Yes, found everything we need for tomorrow. Thanks for the help,” I said, glancing at Hazel, her hair in a messy bun, laughing with Summer and Ava. “Looks like you did a good job. She looks well-rested.”
“We did our best,” Norah replied. Just as I was about to avert my eyes, Hazel’s eyes went searching, stealing glances at me. We locked our gaze, and I smiled.
“You know, she looks at you like that a lot. You have the same one,” Norah said.
I had no response, so I deflected, teasing her about being so in love that she’d marry me and the inflatable pool flamingo if I even looked at it for two seconds. But her words stuck. I took them with me, putting them in the invisible feelings box deep in my soul.
You are starting to get pathetic.
But the fact was, it was Hazel’s birthday tomorrow, so from now on, everything would be done bearing in mind that if it made her happy, that’s all that mattered.
“What movie are we watching today?” I asked, rearranging the couch and putting some pillows and blankets on the ground in our room—the first thing in my Hazel’s birthday plan.
“We’re watching a movie?” Hazel looked surprised.
“Of course, how else would we start your birthday celebration early if not with a movie of your choice?” I grinned, and she blushed in my favorite shade. “C’mon, pick one.”
“What would you like to watch?” she asked innocently.
“Nope. Try again,” I said, a small laugh escaping me.
