“Damn. How are you a functioning adult with all this history?” he suddenly said, making me laugh.
“Well, you know what they say. Trauma is just a spicy memory.” We shared a smile, fully acknowledging that this evening was ourspicy memory.
“Hazel,” he said my name like it was a soft baby’s buttocks. “I want to ask you something, and I’ll believe whatever you choose to answer.”
Oh-oh.
“Jackson. He was the guy from O’Riley’s, wasn’t he?” I swallowed, anticipating his question. “Is he... harassing you? Is that why you really moved?”
I met his gaze and was caught in it, entirely at his mercy, not able to look away. My eyes filled with tears, twisting my face, and he rolled his jaw, silent but heavy. He’s gonna use all his yearly pity quota on me.
“He’s just hurt. Technically, he didn’t do anything wrong.” I averted my gaze. “He didn’t cheat or abuse me, so the breakup doesn’t make sense to him. It’s easier when there’s a clear reason, instead of ‘I feel sad, so I’m leaving.’” Luke’s grip on my hand tightened, and I wanted him to pull me into a hug, but as one would’ve guessed, I was done with asking.
“He’s grieving and having a hard time understanding my side. And I get it. I feel sorry for him, too. I wasn’t the happy person he fell in love with. I couldn’t give him that person anymore, and he’s trying to logic this breakup out. Keeps showing up, trying to talk to me, that’s all.”
Luke’s fingers were tracing the tattoo on my arm. The sky had fully woken up now, and something in me felt lighter.
“It’s your default setting, right? Taking care of others,” he said, contemplating. “Who’s taking care of you?” he asked, raising his eyes to me. The question stunned me, but I wasn’t some pitiful, lonesome girl. I had Mady and Thomas, and...
“Well, Mrs. Green constantly feeds me.” I snorted. Luke grunted a lowhmm, clearly unimpressed.
“Have you talked to Mady about this?”
“She knows some parts. About my mom, my dad, why I broke up with Jackson.”
“Does she know about him following you?” He drew his brows together, lips tight. Like he was holding something back.
“I...” I couldn’t lie to him. “I can’t do that to her. She’s so happy right now, planning her wedding. It’s too much. Besides, he’s just persistent. He’s not a danger to me or anything.”
“Would you tell anyone if he were?”
“Of course,” I lied quietly, lowering my head. But he saw right through me. Luke slowly pulled me into a hug I so desperately needed. Without asking.
“Hazel, I want you to tell me. Any time, any place you don’t feel safe, you call me. Promise me, please.”
After a moment, I nodded. I wanted to mean it, but I couldn’t predict how the future would unfold. Which Hazel would win—the one who made promises or the one who didn’t want to be a burden. His arms tightened.
“You should talk to Mady about this. I’m sure she would hate to find out later that you kept something like this from her. That you didn’t trust her enough to let her be there for you, especially in moments like these.”
Sadness crept into my heart. By trying to protect her from this, was I robbing her of what friendship truly meant? I would’ve wanted to know if it were her.
Silence settled between us, the ocean breeze warm against my face.
“I hate that you had to go through it alone. Those assholes don’t deserve you,” he said, clearly counting my father into the equation. “You’re too kind to people.” His voice soft but sentimental. I sighed.
“I just think there’s more to gain by risking being kind than to lose because of some people who decide to use it. High risk, high reward, they call it.” My mouth brushed his chest as I tried syncing my breathing with his. I felt like we were one person for the tiniest moment. One organism working together. One breath, one purpose.
“I have this feeling that people are much stronger than their worst days. I am stronger,” I said, trying to convince myself, too. His hands caressed me, his lips brushing my temple.
We stayed like that for a long time. I even drifted off to sleep until I felt something textured press against my face, making me roll to the other side.
Luke lifted his body, waiting patiently for me to settle in so he could cover me with a blanket. But the moment his warmth left, I instinctively tugged his arm, pulling him down with me. He hesitated at first, but didn’t let me go. Slowly, he followed my hand and lay down with me.
“I just talked for a very long time,” I murmured, half-asleep. His hand rested on my stomach, warming me, his whole body pressed to mine. I wanted to stay awake as long as possible. To remember this.
“It wasn’t nearly as long as I’d wished you talked,” he whispered.
“It’d be only fair if you told me something, too.”
