The worst part?I had to let her.
“I smoked way too much. We were both clearly intoxicated. Probably me more than you and I...I didn’t think clearly. So I’m sorry, too.” Her words stung. I wanted to fight for her. With her. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Whenever I felt something close to genuine affection for a girl, there was this strangling feeling in my chest. Like I couldn’t breathe. Childhood memories would flood in, and with them, a sudden urge to escape, to be anywhere but there. It was like amessed-up timer, telling me I shouldn’t get too involved. Before it was more complicated than it needed to be.
“Hazel, I—” I was interrupted again. Norah, Ethan, Ava, and Alex came downstairs.
“Good morning, rays of sunshine,” Norah said and sat down across from me. I tried to hold Hazel’s gaze, but she was already gone. Mentally, at least. I should’ve been happy. Everything was resolving just like I wanted to. Right?!
“Does anybody know where my husband is?” she asked, looking around.
“In the pool,” Alex yelled from the kitchen.
“You mean by the pool?” Norah clarified, but we just shared a look and grinned. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Nothing he hadn’t experienced before,” I added.
Twenty minutes later, Summer joined us, and Ava was already serving us breakfast from yesterday’s leftovers while Ethan refused any sandwich that looked like his dare from last night. I kept trying to catch Hazel’s eyes, but she was purposefully looking at everyone else but me. Avoiding me.
“For our criminal hero,” Ava said, handing her a plate of sliced watermelon. Hazel blushed, her smile warming me instantly.
“It’s been a while since I smoked that much,” Alex said. “That was a good night.”
“Yeah, it was interesting,” Hazel chuckled. Our eyes met, just for a second, but it was enough to send me back to the pool with her body pressed to mine. Then she was swept into conversation with the others while I kept counting how many ways her legs could ruin my life. There was something deeply wrong with me.
“I can’t believe I did it,” Hazel exhaled, laughing. I froze, but my heart rate sped up. She regretted it. Of course, she did. I shouldn’t have touched her. I should’ve been more in control. I never meant to make her uncomfortable.
“I actually put a needle through Logan’s ear. Is he even alive?”Oh.
“He just needs to cool down,” Alex said. Hazel made a skeptical look.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Ethan asked.
“Well, we could do some museum tours or, OR...” Norah got all excited and loud. “An open-air theater play!”
“I’d rather rub glass in my eyes than go watch that,” I deadpanned.
“Let’s just go to the ocean and relax?” a deep voice mumbled behind us. Logan, rubbing his eyes and yawning. His hair and shorts were all wet, indicating that he had fallen into the pool sometime during the night.
“He’s alive,” Ethan declared dramatically.
“You need more water!?” Alex added in disbelief, laughing his ass off. We high-fived.
“Yeah, about that—I’m suing all of you,” he said, walking to Norah and giving her a kiss. “Except you. I’m legally obligated to love you instead.”
“The wet man has a point,” I agreed. “Let’s chill today. No long walks.”
“Yesterday, some local guys mentioned a beach festival. We could go there,” Hazel said, and I immediately pictured the guys she was talking to and felt irrational anger bubbling up inside me.
Suddenly, Alex elbowed me in the ribs, and I cleared my throat.
“And how about dinner out tonight?” I suggested. “Ava deserves a break.” Ava looked at me, and I winked at her.
“Idodeserve a break,” she agreed proudly. Without any objection whatsoever, everybody agreed, and Alex gave me a fist bump behind my back.
* * *
Two hours later, we had loaded the trunk with beach gear and made a quick stop at the store for snacks. As I walked through the aisles, my hands full of potato chips and sodas, my phone rang in my pocket. I awkwardly fished it out, trying not to drop anything.
