“How did I not see you before?” he whispered, pulling me closer. I, however, refused to read too much into his question. It would be too painful.
“Probably my small size and previously mentioned boundaries,” I laughed. “But for what it’s worth, I wish I had your bravery.” I lowered my eyes, playing with the soft fabric. Maybe if I had the courage, I could finally feel like I was starting my life, not just staying in my place of refuge.
“Youarebrave.” Luke’s knuckles grazed my cheek, and I met his dark eyes. “You just don’t know it yet.”
I touched his arm, fingertips brushing his bicep. He gently wrapped his hand around my wrist.
“Hazel, with me, you don’t have to beg when you need something. You just have to ask.”
His soft gaze broke my heart a little. As sincere as his words sounded, I knew there were things he couldn’t give me. We both knew it. And I wanted to choose people who chose me, too.
“What was that Lizzy’s quote from Pride and Prejudice?” he said. “Perhaps you should take your aunt’s advice and practice,” Luke said, performing his best low, soft Keira Knightley’s voice, and I laughed. “So practice. Practice right now. Ask me something.”
“Didn’t I already ask you something during our fight?” I said, blood rushing to my cheeks. “God, and I was swearing... ahhh.”
“Yes, that was extremely hot and sexy, but it was the heat of the moment. You have to practice in non-sexual moments.”
“Well, you towering over my ass is extremely sexual.”
“It’s not sexual, it’s... one friend supporting another.” His logic was as flawed as Swiss cheese. My skin tingled, and I buried a grin in my arms. The air between us lightened again. His eyes traced the movements of his hand like he was sketching something.
What should I ask?
“I could kindly ask you to bring my stuff down to the car tomorrow,” I said eventually.
“No problem, little lady,” he said enthusiastically. Like a grown-up cheering on their kid when they bring a drawing home from kindergarten, complete with ugly and unrecognizable shapes and forms.
“What else?” He wanted more. But I wanted him.
His fingers were gliding over my body, light as a feather but igniting every cell in my body. I groaned into the pillow, which amused him. I wanted to keep talking with him. Not to lose a second of our... whatever this was. His hand moved lower and squeezed my cheek lightly.
“I don’t think you understand what ‘non-sexual’ means,” I muttered, but a moan betrayed me while his warm hands were mapping the lower part of my body. Memorizing it.
“Yeah, I changed my mind,” he said in a husky voice. His palm squeezed my hip, molding me like a vase. But there was restraint in his touch, too, as if he was afraid to let himself go. Like if he did, something inside him might break. My eyes may give me away, but the touch washistell. His hands on me always told the truth.
Goosebumps bloomed across my skin, and he pulled a blanket over us. Luke let his fingers trail along my jaw before brushing gently over my lips, and then rested his hand against my cheek.
It struck me that love wasn’t a single moment at all. It was a thousand small ones, collected and remembered, stitched into something I could finally hold. Not in the grand confessions or the impossible promises, but here, in the spaces where he looks away with soft patience to give me room, where laughter comes unplanned, dissolving the tension. Where he can’t avert his gaze from mine, as though nothing else in the world deserves his attention, even though I’m lying naked beside him. These beautifully unremarkable moments slipped in unnoticed yet carved themselves into me.
I thought of how often life rushes past, and yet right now, everything slowed, and I could see him. Not just Luke now, but every Luke he had ever been. And in this moment, something occurred to me. Something that I wanted.
“Can I ask for something silly?”
“You can try, but you won’t be successful.” His dimples reappeared. I gathered the courage to ask for what I really wanted.
“Let’s never leave,” I whispered, lowering my eyes, afraid to look up. Afraid to see my desperation reflected in his gaze, afraid he might finally decide this had already gone on long enough.
But instead, his hand landed softly on my back, pulling me into the warmth of his embrace. My chest pressed against his, and his fingers spread wide across my skin like he was anchoring himself to me. He gently tilted my face upward, his lips hovering near mine, not kissing yet, just letting the moment stretch. The contact of our bodies, the stillness between us, made me feel every particle of him. Every emotion in full spectrum.
“Let’s,” he whispered, right before sinking into a kiss that would forever become a part of me.
39
Luke
Let’s.
It was the last thing we said before I lost my mind. Before the reminders of our circumstances came crashing in. Before I woke up in our bed two minutes before the alarm, alone.
