Fromloss.
I realized I was here to remind her that she was worthy of being wanted. Worthy in a way that made her shine, even when her soul ached. To let her know every hidden corner of her heart mattered, that those she let close to her should never take her for granted.
And that I had been waiting for her.Somehow, always.
For this brave, kind, fierce woman; the one who gave herself completely, who allowed herself to feel pain and heal, to be open to people and never ask for anything in return.
I was in love. Tonight, I was in love. And the epitome of my existence in that moment was to show her with my body, not my words, how much, in fact, I loved her.
So that’s what I did.
38
Hazel
“Are you sure?” Luke asked, his voice low and teasing. Propped on one elbow, he toyed lazily with a pawn next to the chessboard, eyes never leaving mine. My fingers hovered above the bishop that would almost certainly obliterate him in the next two moves.
“Yeeaaahhhhh...” I said slowly, releasing the piece and scanning the board. He paused and a second later, grinned, sliding his rook into a spot I hadn’t noticed.
“I’ll have you in checkmate in two moves, sweetie.” His hand brushed down my spine to my ass, sending a shiver through me. It was difficult to concentrate, and he knew it.
After our hate-love-making session, we stayed in bed. Neither of us was ready to give in to sleep. Closing our eyes seemed like a waste when time was already slipping through our fingers. We lay naked on our stomachs, facing the balcony as early morning light slowly painted the sky in orange and yellow tones.
I groaned into the pillow at my defeat. Luke’s teasing touch, gliding over my back, turned softer. Like a consolation prize. It was a nice distraction from all the emotions coursing through me.
“You’re getting better. You’re already better than when we first started.”
“Yeah,” I half-laughed, calling his bluff.
Silence settled between us, broken only by waves crashing in the distance and a breeze moving the curtains. I lifted my head, blinking up at the brightening sky. It looked cracked open. Just like I felt inside.
“The most gorgeous view,” he whispered.
“Yeah,” I agreed, watching the sky. But when I turned to him, Luke was watching his hand on my back, lost in thought. Then he met my eyes and sighed in defeat despite his win. His jaw tightened, his eyes suddenly serious.
“Hazel, I meant it.” Guilt colored his face, softening the sharp lines of his jaw, his shoulders no longer held with their usual certainty.
“I’m really sorry. For everything—what I said to you, for what I did. I never wanted just a body.” He lowered his eyes for a fraction of a second, voice dropping to a soft whisper, and then lifted his gaze to meet mine again. “Not with you.”
Cracks in my heart got deeper with every word. “I got tangled up in this.”
Suddenly, I felt bad for the things I’d said. Even though he lied, hewassorry. It wasn’t what I heard, it was what I saw.
People fight their demons the best they can.
“I’m sorry too,” I offered in return, realizing there was truth to what he had said, even though the delivery had been flawed. “I know I have my issues.”
Luke’s knuckles traced the soft swell of my breast, and somehow my ass raised in response. Embarrassed, I buried my face in the pillow, but he immediately put his whole palm to my skin, warming it. Like freshly baked bread.
“I wasn’t always like this, you know?” I said.
Luke tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, then slid both hands under his pillow, his head resting there, eyes focused on me. I missed his touch, but the distance made it easier to speak.
“I have nothing against my father, it’s just... I don’t blame him for how things went after Mom died. He was in survival mode, and he built these walls around us. That’s how he coped. But I had to survive those moments mostly without him.
So now I’m used to living like this, with him there on the other side of the country and me here, pretending to be a family, but not really being one.”
I could practically hear my chest ripping apart, putting into words things I’d only observed in my head. It felt liberating. And strangely, it felt right sharing it with Luke. The guy I demanded to fuck me just hours ago. I don’t think I’ve demanded anything in my life. I was the kind of person who couldn’t even return food at a restaurant if there was a hair in it.
